If you are doing anything at all to keep a man in your life, you are doing way too much. Any effort on your part, shifts the power away from you, onto him, and we all know what happens when you give up your power.
You are enough. And if you believe that you should bend over backwards, stand on your head, or make nice just to appease him, you are not being true to yourself. Contrary to mass media scare tactics, there are plenty of good men out there in your own age group. The fact that you are with one, who is not making you happy, simply means that you two are not a good match.
He doesn’t owe it to you to change for your benefit, or become the man you need him to be (that only happens in fairy tales and cheesy romance novels), and you do not owe it to him to compromise yourself. Remember, man is not the prize.
If you do anything to change yourself, in order to keep him in your life, you are compromising yourself, and that is a very disempowering habit. Women are told that they must do anything to secure the love a man, but that is wrong. We should only do as much as they do for us, and only when that man has proven he meets our needs.
We all deserve good relationships with people who fit. The fact that you are “working on yourself”, catering to his mood swings, and figuring out ways to accommodate him just to make hims stay is a sure way to lose his respect, and the respect you should have for yourself.
Goddess understand that we are the prize. No we are not conceited, pretentious, or manipulative. We are powerful, self aware, and respect ourselves too much, to stand on our heads to retain men. We also understand that no man owes us a relationship, security, nor his life. We take care of our own needs, and the men in our lives are highly appreciated when they are a good fit. We do not seek to change them into better men, we let them go so that we can find someone who is a better match to us.
Have you ever met a man with whom you have so much chemistry, that no effort is needed? Someone who just fits? We have all stumbled into relationships with people who are such a good match that the relationship is simple and effortless. That is an indicator that the two people are in sync. No one has to change for anyone else’s benefit. No one is making unreasonable demands, and neither partner has to work on pleasing the other. When you find that, you keep it, but in the mean time, understand that a healthy man will not change himself for your benefit. Instead, he will keep dating until he finds the woman who fits his lifestyle. You owe it to yourselves, to do the same.
Self-respect is the most important quality a Goddess possesses. And self-respect means being in touch with who you are as a woman at all times. Know what you want, articulate it clearly, and if he doesn’t deliver, do not hang around to find out if he will change his mind later. You will be waiting a long time.