Category Archives: Blog

There is nothing that you could say about me, to make me feel bad about me. People try, it never works. Their words bounce off me, and then they are right there in their own face. It’s a very powerful … Continue reading →

LESSONS LEARNED, and things I will never do again in dating. Never give a man the benefits of a relationship without any agreement. Never assume that a relationship will grow later. Never assume that sex is the beginning of a … Continue reading →

It turns out that I have been living the “Soft life” for years and I didn’t even know it. If you haven’t heard, the soft life is a social media term that many women are claiming for themselves. According to … Continue reading →

“You are dissatisfied”. Those are the exact words I said recently to a friend. She asked me why I keep saying no to her requests for more personal time with me, passing on invitations to events, and No to taking … Continue reading →

Do you take whatever you can get when it comes to relationships? Think about it. Is what is available right now, even if it is less, a whole lot less, acceptable to you? Maybe later, it will grow into something … Continue reading →

If they make you feel so angry and frustrated, why do you keep coming back? We all have a person who is challenging us, antagonizing us, he or she is the perceived cause of all our problems. What is it … Continue reading →

You can’t take down a woman who knows exactly who she is, who has accepted all her flaws, failures, shortcomings, and learned to appreciate and be proud of all her scars. True or false? You can’t insult a woman, manipulate … Continue reading →

Why do women believe that there is something wrong with them if they have experienced countless toxic patterns with toxic men? Why do we automatically believe that there is something wrong with us, that we are ruined, spoiled, jaded, negative, … Continue reading →

“Wherever you go, there you are.”– Eckhart Tolle. It took me decades to understand that no matter how much I blame my circumstances on other people, no matter how far I run, there I am, at the center of every … Continue reading →

You should have people audition for a role in your life. I’m not kidding. After years of betrayal, crossed boundaries, learning to stand up for myself, but most of all learning to respect myself and place my own honor above … Continue reading →

We live in a digital world, and most people I know date using apps like Tinder and Bumble. I don’t. In previous posts I explained why I don’t like it and I won’t bore you with my own choices. But, … Continue reading →

This morning’s post by Que Jones made me smile. Beautiful picture of her glowing, and she states: “I like me”. I like this lady too. I am out of town, stuck in a remote area with nothing much to do, … Continue reading →

How many times do you check if someone likes you, or is interested in you? When someone isn’t responding to your calls or texts, how many more times would you call or text? Granted, the other person should be more … Continue reading →

FEAR. Everybody knows how awful it feels. What if you have an ongoing, long-term fear, an anxiety, or an automatic negative feeling triggered by external circumstance? How to deal with it mindfully? This post is not for everyone, but I … Continue reading →

“If it’s free, it’s for me”. You have heard the expression. Some women can totally identify with the statement, while others find free stuff cheap, distasteful, and are offended by freebies. Why? In business school, we learned “When something is … Continue reading →

This morning a member of our private forum posted “If your presence doesn’t add value, your absence won’t make a difference.” How many people are trying to be present in your life? How many lives are you trying to be … Continue reading →

Have you ever gone out on a date with someone you didn’t want romantically? Have you ever gone against your intuition? Have you ever allowed someone to twist your arm, or talk you into giving them time, when your intuition … Continue reading →

WIN WITHOUT TRYING. Of course, you have to know your craft. Of course you have to have expertise in your line of work. If you are an athlete, of course you have to train. But, often when we are after … Continue reading →

If you are easily offended, you are easily manipulated. One of the slimiest tactics that toxic men employ is to try to point out a flaw that makes you feel uncomfortable, defensive, insecure. Of course, this is never blatant, but … Continue reading →

Got trust issues? It is understandable. We have all been hurt, and we all have trouble trusting. Some of us are tired of dating, men and relationships. Why put ourselves out there? But who do you really have trouble trusting? … Continue reading →

Stop Shrinking To Fit People. Have you ever made yourself smaller, so a man could feel more comfortable or masculine around you? What would happen if you didn’t shrink, but stood comfortably confident with your size, your “bigness:”, your success? … Continue reading →

“Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you.”– Eckhart Tolle I have been looking for clues to the root cause of a couple of issues I still have to work on, and I could … Continue reading →

Here is a post for the more sensitive ladies in the group. Many of you meditate, many of you do yoga, many of you know how to take care of yourself, and many of you are aware of energy. Do … Continue reading →

Some of you know that I have been practicing holding onto my attention instead of giving it away to unnecessary distractions. In essence, I have been practicing mindfulness, but on a whole other level. My attention only goes to what … Continue reading →

I’m not sure who said something to this effect: “the curse for creating illusion is living with more illusions”. We all create our own illusions, choose beliefs which reflect who we want to see in ourselves and other people, and … Continue reading →

How do you want to feel? How would it feel to have your ideal day? How would the most beautiful morning feel to you? Peace, tranquility, a hot cup of tea, an invigorated body, sunny mood, having a lot to … Continue reading →

That which clings repels . That which moves attracts. Who are you clinging to? Whose approval do you seek? Whose opinions matter the most to you? Whose validation do you compete for?  Have you noticed that the people who are … Continue reading →

How to think correctly to reprogram your mind, change your attitude on a difficult subject, decide how you will feel about an anxiety-causing situation, and create a response that will be in your highest interest? Again, the short answer is … Continue reading →

How to feed your own soul? Is your soul hungry? Now that we live in an era of social distancing, is your soul starving? This has been a strange week, with most of my coworkers now working from home, and … Continue reading →

Boundaries teach people how to treat you. People can only know what they have been taught. They are not offensive, and when people are offended by your boundaries, rather than apologize, notice what they are offended by, and treat them … Continue reading →

In the last few years, my biggest lesson has been this: “The more upset I get about something, the more underlying baggage and shit that I’m avoiding dealing with. Irrationally large emotional responses are like our psychological metal detectors, they’re … Continue reading →

Why are we all so loyal to our pasts, when it is the future we are trying to create? If you keep your past activated, it plays a heavy part in your present, and you keep projecting it into your … Continue reading →

It is in our acceptance of our flaws that we become flawless. It is in the acceptance of our failures that we release ourselves from the mentality of failing. Acceptance is a very powerful tool that can release us from … Continue reading →

I started this blog, and the private women’s forum writing a lot about the purpose of casual dating, the fun and joy of having an abundant and glorious sex life, while making your own rules. I still believe that women … Continue reading →

Have you ever watched a performance by a dancer, or an actor, and noticed that the performance was forced, you could tell that the artist wasn’t in the zone? It seems rigid, artificial, unnatural, there was no flow, life, nor … Continue reading →

That negative voice in your head. Do you hear one? No, you are not crazy, it is what some meditation teachers refer to as the Monkey Mind. It talks incessantly, it has a mind of it’s own, it bounces from … Continue reading →

A friend who is also in the private “Goddess” forum said something that truly resonated. “Women have to understand that they are they are the only ones who can determine their own value”. What did she mean? Often women derive … Continue reading →

That one limiting factor that scares women from walking away is having no place to go. Having no destination is that difficult circumstance that blocks women from leaving controlling lovers, toxic friends, dead-end jobs. Here is how to walk away … Continue reading →

How would you recognize your soulmate, or the mate to your soul? What is so different about a relationship with your soulmate or what I call your perfect counterpart, as opposed to a relationship with anybody else? The difference is … Continue reading →

Have you ever thought, hey, maybe it’s me? Maybe, there’s nothing wrong with him, him, nor him. Is it possible that something might be wrong with me? After all, aren’t these negative dating patterns happening to me? Not other people. … Continue reading →

Is it smart to let men take the lead in relationships? Think about it, how is that smart? How is it smart to let him be in charge of the outcome? Is it smart to allow him to think that … Continue reading →

Don’t let a man negotiate how you feel about him. He showed you he is an asshole, you think he is an asshole, but he doesn’t like that you think he is an asshole. Guess what, he still is an … Continue reading →

Your darkest place is where your treasure is buried. What do I mean by that? We all have a positive side and a negative side, our light and our darkness. That duality is a force of nature. Look at nature, … Continue reading →

No one can give you more closure, than to slam the door right in your face. If you can’t see closure when someone has disappeared out of your life and refuses to communicate, check yourself. You may have trouble facing … Continue reading →

Boo hoo, I’m sorry you have issues from your past, and I’m sorry you keep suffering because you are stuck on that old story, and sorry to tell you this: no magical hand is going to come down from the … Continue reading →

Do you live in someone else’s head? What is he thinking? I know how he feels, he is so confused, how can I help him with that? Often women are overly concerned about how men feel, that they are likely … Continue reading →

How much contact is too much contact? Every human is different. Each of us has different needs, and each of us has her own personal way of interacting with people. We all want more contact with people whose company we … Continue reading →

Are you an emotional sponge? Do you absorb other people’s feelings and bad energies? You may call yourself an empath, a victim, a people pleaser, or see yourself as suffering from over-responsibility. It is that guilty feeling of being responsible … Continue reading →

How do we attract unhealthy, incomplete, disrespectful men? What signal are we sending them to let them know we are their unhealthy match? There’s the obvious answer- we too are incomplete and lack full respect for ourselves. But, there’s more … Continue reading →

Karma. Many people hope and pray that karma will bite someone else in the ass, as revenge for pain they have suffered at the hands of other people. Karma is not punishment. Karma will not discipline your ex for breaking … Continue reading →

Success. Do you envision success as something that you will eventually enjoy in the future once you have reached an income level, a professional title, a milestone? Many people who seek success in life do so through struggle, through force, … Continue reading →

You are working on yourself, investing in your inner being, developing a sense of purpose and a strong identity. Everything is going well, except you cannot seem to reach that thing you want most. That job is in a far … Continue reading →

The Roster. What is the Roster? It is a man’s “Little Black Book” of available women. Think of it as a menu of delicious items readily available to him. These delicious items are categorized by portion size, ladies who are … Continue reading →

This scenario is all too familiar for a lot of grown women.  Your friend is in a frustrationship with a douchebag who isn’t stepping up for her. The douche is messaging, trying to get some alone time with you. He … Continue reading →

Do you accept half-assed relationships? Do you accept non-committal, let’s see what happens kind of situations that leave you hanging? Be honest, why do you accept offers of nothing? Why do you go along for the ride? To see what … Continue reading →

Magical Thinking: My love is enough. I will love him so much, that I am going to get him to love me.   Both men and women believe that their own desire for the other person makes the connection valid. … Continue reading →

“I am waiting to see what you deliver”.   I was seeing this guy on and off in the last few years. It was never serious, always causal. We recently reconnected, had a few drinks and without warning he poured … Continue reading →

A question came from a male reader: “Why do women ignore me? Why do people ignore me, disconnect, or blow me off?”  I get asked this same question from women all the time, and I give them the same answer. … Continue reading →

Create confusion. Keep him guessing. Make him wonder. Be hot and cold. Sure, play mind games with men, but then don’t complain when they pull one on you. Juvenile games lead to juvenile relationships. If you participate in texting games, … Continue reading →

How many times have you been married or divorced? How many times have you experienced a “failed” relationship? Do you feel “unsuccessful” at relationships? Why do other people have their forever love, but you keep failing over and over and … Continue reading →

If he doubts that he is good enough for you, believe him. He knows himself better than you possibly could. He is aware of his own shortcomings, and more likely to know he will disappoint you. If he is reluctant, … Continue reading →

“He should choose me, instead of that bitch”. How many times have you heard a similar statement? “She should be mine, but she doesn’t know what a real man is”.  How many times have you believed that you are the … Continue reading →

STIGMA.  We all get stigmatized for our choices, and in the last few weeks since the new abortion laws were passed, I have been hearing a lot from women who have been stigmatized for having an abortion, considering one, not … Continue reading →

How to choose your soulmate? Choose you.   By definition, your soulmate, is you. It is that person whose soul matches yours. It is that person whose personal development and all the work that went into it, matches your own … Continue reading →

Just because you have emotions and feelings for a guy, does not mean that you have love. A true love connection goes both ways, the feeling is always mutual. And just because you have feelings, does not make the relationship … Continue reading →

Just because a man wants your heart, doesn’t mean that he wants to give you his. Women assume that if he is pushing and pulling her emotional buttons that he must be asking for love. Why else would she feel … Continue reading →

in·teg·ri·ty –/inˈteɡrədē/    the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness. 2.   the state of being whole and undivided. 3.   being true to oneself. A woman of no integrity has no principle to live by. She … Continue reading →

My taste in men is always changing. I used to think I was fickle and that I don’t know what I want. But that’s not true. I am constantly learning about myself, and constantly growing. The men who used to … Continue reading →

Are you satisfied with his performance? What an odd question, but it is something most women can’t answer. They don’t evaluate relationships based on their own personal satisfaction, instead they evaluate them based on what he says, what he wants, … Continue reading →

Here is a question for you to consider: Is it possible to be jealous if you are utterly in love with yourself? If you are in love with every aspect of you, then anything out there that could be making … Continue reading →

Are you on your path? How would you know? A lot of my friends are seekers, explorers, inquisitive about the nature of their reality. Most people intuitively know that there’s more to reality than this. And in their process of … Continue reading →

The number one quality I look for in a man is my own interest in him. This really should be the top requirement in getting to know a person, going on a date, and pursuing a relationship. My interest precludes … Continue reading →

If it’s not happening, you are giving air time to contradiction. You want love. But, that’s not good enough. Self-love gets stale, so you’d rather have someone else to love. Okay. You get into your center, align, open your chakras, … Continue reading →

Love vs. Commitment vs. Codependency vs. Sex vs. Friendship vs. Romance   We have all been taught that true love is marriage and is all of the above concepts combined. But is it? Have you ever been in love but … Continue reading →

This morning there was a debate in the Goddess Private Forum about what turns women on. As you can imagine, the conversation got a little racy. Some posts were funny, others explicit, some women love brains, others love brains of … Continue reading →

Is chivalry dead? I think chivalry definitely exists, but how it is being used has definitely changed. In modern times, our social interactions have also changed, and so have our expectations of fellow humans. Let’s start with the definition of … Continue reading →

“The walls you put up to protect yourself, are the same walls that are blocking your blessings”. Stephen S.   You can’t walk in fear of getting hurt, and expect to attract the highest possible love, the most amazing career, … Continue reading →

Do you keep a love scorecard? Or does someone you are in a relationship with, or a friend keeping score of what you are doing right, what you are doing wrong, what they did for you, and what you didn’t … Continue reading →

Don’t try too hard. We live in a culture that values hard work, effort, trying, endurance, commitment, resolve, achievement, struggle, and beating the odds. I love America and everything that it stands for. I also love that Americans are self-reliant, … Continue reading →

Breakups suck. Even when we logically know that the relationship isn’t working and that the person isn’t in our best interest, it can still be difficult to move on. We are all taught to make the best out of every … Continue reading →

I am a big fan of self-responsibility because it is a major aspect of being a Goddess. I alone am responsible for the healthy and unhealthy situations I am in, and if I am not satisfied with a certain aspect … Continue reading →

How authentic are you? How true are you to yourself?  How often do you cheat on yourself?  We cheat ourselves every single time we adjust our words and our behavior to meet someone else’s expectations. It seems like a white … Continue reading →

Do you have a neverending story with someone? An impossible, unattainable man, that overly complicated situation that never turned into a relationship. This story has actually been preventing you from starting to live your life. You cannot start to live … Continue reading →

Feelings are emotion. They are energy in motion. What you feel on the inside represents what is happening on the outside. If you feel uncomfortable with something, if it just doesn’t feel good, it is probably because on some level … Continue reading →

Should I settle for the nice guy? Nah. He can wait. This is every woman’s dilemma, and that nice guy who’s a sure thing can wait anyway. Do I choose the guy who has strong interest in me, but I … Continue reading →

I am always impressed by men who are interested in sitting down with women to have a two-way conversation about changing social constructs, gender roles, and female empowerment, to find a better way to relate to us. They are few, … Continue reading →

Why are we in this relationship?  Have you ever met someone really nice who qualifies on all levels, yet you already know before he/she utters ‘I like you’, this one is friend material? This person is perfect, but not for … Continue reading →

MONSTERS.  We have all dated one, two, or if you’re a slow learner like me, a few 🙂 I used to ask myself, what is wrong with me if I am always attracting the crazy ones? Am I crazy?  The … Continue reading →

Did you ever lose your passion or your purpose? Everybody says you have to love what you do, but what if your career no longer turns you on? I always loved every job I took, only to quickly become disenchanted … Continue reading →

Do love and relationships feel like a drug to you? When you have someone to be with, you feel fulfilled. You’d do anything to keep them happy, even sacrifice your own beliefs, integrity, peace to keep them around. Do you … Continue reading →

Are you the person that the person you want is looking for? How do you know if you qualify to be with the person you are interested in?  I know there are a lot of people out there who don’t … Continue reading →

Why does religion have a monopoly on the afterlife? What if the death experience is not a religious experience at all? For me death was a natural experience, a physical or energetic transformation, a choice between the physical me and … Continue reading →

Who are the real men? Where are all the Gods?  Who are our counterparts?   Being a nice guy does not mean you are owed a date. Being a family man doesn’t mean you are owed discretion when you act … Continue reading →

There’s a new man on the scene, and I’m apprehensive. Perhaps I am jaded, bored, or tired. It is more likely that I have reached the end of a cycle where I am leaving the past behind, and stepping into … Continue reading →

What if your problems were serving a higher purpose? What if those uncomfortable, panic-inducing monsters under your bed were the key to unlocking your life’s potential? We strive to overcome our problems, kill the monsters, in fact, we are taught … Continue reading →

Why do I do what I do? When we don’t understand our own behavior, it is because we don’t know ourselves. If we have bad habits, obsessions, compulsions, and we allow them to drive us, we are letting them be … Continue reading →

This pattern of making all the effort, pushing and prodding relationships forward is not leading you toward love, it is you pushing lovers to give you what they have no interest in giving you.   Are you incapable of seeing, … Continue reading →

We all leave relationships because we are not being loved the way we want to be loved.  The kind of love I dream of, is not being given by the other person. It’s not his fault, he has his own … Continue reading →

You came into this world with one purpose only, to experience life beautifully. What is beautiful to you, is yours to decide. What is beautiful to me may be unacceptable to many people, but I pursue life’s ultimate experiences as … Continue reading →

What are you still holding on to? Letting go is probably the most powerful lesson I learned in my life, and we are all aware of some things we should be letting go of. What surprised me the most is … Continue reading →

When your heart is in someone else’s plans, they perceive you as that missing piece of their puzzle. You are the solution to their years of searching. You are the key to their completion. They see you as the answer … Continue reading →

Have you ever been frustrated trying to explain to a person why you are not interested in them, or why they just don’t do it for you?  Have you been irritated by someone who cannot intuitively tell there is no … Continue reading →

Everybody is starving for relationships, or so it seems. Turn on your social media feed, and you’ll be bombarded by a hundred desperate posts about why the world today is so bad because good people can’t find a partner. ‘There … Continue reading →

This discussion started among the Goddesses in the private forum, and quickly turned into a heated debate.  One of us shared a news article about a woman who divorced a man who didn’t disclose to her he was impotent, then … Continue reading →

You are in my friend zone, because you are not sleepable. Yes, I know, I am in your friend zone, because you think I’m sleepable. Maybe you have a girlfriend right now, maybe you are soon to be divorced, but … Continue reading →

Being a Goddess is costly. The higher she rises, the more respect a Goddess commands, the more uncomfortable some people are around her.  An interesting observation is that my most Goddesslike friends, are the women who totally rule, speak their … Continue reading →

Why do experts treat relationships like a science project? Who do people believe that relationships are an achievement? We are born surrounded by billions of people, why do we feel exhilarated when we find just one who wants to be … Continue reading →