What is the spiritual purpose of aging? Most of us are worried when we see our skin start to droop, our hairline recede, our face start to collapse, and we panic. I need to do something right now! I need a better skincare routine, omg cosmetics don’t work! I need to lose 10 lbs, and I need a skin tightening treatment. Maybe I need botox, but I’m scared of botox, should look into fillers? My greys are growing out faster than ever. I spend $100 a month on hair color, $100 on spa treatments, and I am aging nevertheless!
How do you feel as you experience this? I was in a state of panic, disappointment in myself, ready to throw in the towel, this is hopeless! When you are seeing yourself as you are aging, are you in a place of self-mastery? No, I’m in a state of helplessness. When I see my neck, I want to cry. Why? Does my neck make me worthless? If I asked any of my friends to be honest and tell me if I am worth less to them due to my neck, what would they say?? Nobody in my world sees me as worthless, except for me. And to be clear, I am not worthless, I know that, instead I am currently experiencing the feeling of worthlessness.
For all my talk about being love, staying in a state of pure unconditional love at all times, here I am losing ground and I am not liking this one bit. But what is really happening here?
Aging is natural. Nobody can prevent that. We all get soft around the middle, become more doughy, and our arms will jiggle eventually. It happens to everyone, so why are we so nervous about it? It is our perception. We have heard that women lose value as we age. I never believed that because I have proof that all my friends are far more valuable to everyone they know the more they grow. But I can’t help being disappointed in my looks. I should have tried harder.
What is really happening here is a loss of my emotional balance, a reaction to something external, and while I am focused on my looks, no, I am not in a state of unconditional love for myself. You I can love, but right now, it’s not me. Aging is a spiritual test. Can you stay in that state of unconditional love for the self no matter what you look like, no matter what your age, no matter what your womanly body is doing right now. Yes aging is a spiritual exercise to see if you truly are all that.
But, we don’t lose our alignment because we are aging, In fact, we are aging because we are losing our unconditional self love. First comes the feeling, then comes the evidence. One thing I learned about my body while I have been meditating, is that the body responds to how we feel. First comes the mindset, or awareness, and the body adjusts to that. This is how I reversed my experience of asthma. I learned how to unfeel that tightness in my chest, I learned how to feel clear breath even as my lungs were struggling. I had to be able to feel clear, despite what my lungs were telling me. You have to be able to feel young, vital and beautiful despite how you look right now.
How? It is wrong to say I have to push myself to go to the gym, really give it my all, sweat and burn until my body screams, and then I will feel better. This attitude is brutal. Instead, love and adore your body unconditionally as it is now. No matter what. I know you have a pooch, a muffin top, and your jeans won’t zip. I just realized that I haven’t worn my jeans in 18 months because I despise that feeling of trying to squeeze into them, so I just avoid them. But that awful feeling is sending your body a signal. I don’t like this body, it feels awful, I hate this feeling, so your body does what the brain is telling it to do, make more weight.
The same goes for your aging process. We first start to worry about our aging as well as our value as women. Our brain is merely sending a signal to the body to adjust itself to how you feel. When I learned how to clear my asthma mentally, I understood that my body does how I feel. Not how I think, but how I feel.
When I felt that clear, deep breath as my lungs were sending me the opposite evidence, it took only a few seconds for my lungs to relax. One of the first things I learned to do while meditating 22 years ago, was how to make six pack abs mentally. I had it within a few days. But why can’t I do it now? Because I have 7 years of experience criticizing my body and not liking where it is going. And that critique is like an emotional and an energetic debt. I have compiled so much negative energy on this subject, it’s no wonder my body reacted. How to undo this now?
The key is to accept all your flaws exactly as they are now. The second step is to fall in love with each and every one of your cellulite jiggles, sagginess, each and every wrinkle. You can’t clear your energy unless you feel good about yourself first. Remember, the good feeling about your body and your face have to happen first, despite the evidence to the contrary. That is a true power! A sign of a true energy master is the ability to create the opposite of what the evidence shows.
This is a worthwhile exercise. Stand in front of the mirror and admire yourself. No you will not tug at your jawline or lift anything up. Instead you will look at that crepey neck and absolutely adore it! You will look at your droopy eyelids and find the beauty in them. I know this is very uncomfortable. Just staring in the mirror truly noticing myself is uncomfortable. But I did it before so I know it works. Watch what you say to yourself. Instead of thinking if only I could have a lift, say something like there is so much more wisdom in my eyes now. That beautiful droop has accentuated the the sparkle in my eyes. Those brown spots are like the freckles cute girls had when I was growing up. I even have a black, thick hair that is now growing on my upper lip and I think it is absolutely funny. I did not pluck it, it’s just standing there greeting me every morning when I brush my teeth. How awesome is that, that I say hello to that one thick hair on my upper lip? Tomorrow I will wear it with pride when I go out with my friends! You see how your energy has shifted when you added a bit of humor to your beauty? I did this once for a whole month and my face looked better than ever!
But the purpose of aging is to shore up your mental and emotional strength. You think you have mastered yourself, but then aging kicks in and your body no longer acts as sexy as you used to be. If you start reacting to it emotionally, down the hill you go!
Yes, it was easier to mentally create a six-pack on my abs decades ago, because my body was already a size 0. It’s not so easy to love it unconditionally in its current situation. But your body only reacts to how you feel. My sacral chakra and my solar plexus have been blocked for a long time, and guess where my body is adding weight? Yes, right there where I feel bad. And any time I feel sick or unwell, guess what part of the body acts like it doesn’t like me?
But if I can clear up asthma forever with no steroids, I can do this. In the past I have been able to lose 5-6 lbs just by feeling better about my waistline. Not feeling skinny, but feeling love for that part of my body. If you try to feel skinny while you dislike your body, you have contradicting energies, your body won’t be able to respond, and you will get sick. Done that a few times. No, you truly have to fall in love unconditionally and purely with your waistline, your jawline, your neck and then it will show you how much you love yourself.
I know that many of you don’t meditate and that is ok. You can do this without going into a trance. Instead, find a part of your body that you have not felt good about. 1) spend 15 minutes morning and night accepting it as it is, and being okay with that. Pay attention to how your emotions feel as you are looking at your belly. That feeling shows how you feel about it. That’s not love. That’s hopelessness, disgust, gross- this is how you are actually talking to your body every day. Your body adjusts to how you feel. If you can accept that giant muffin top, your feelings will become neutral. I no longer care, I no longer feel bad, it’s my belly and I’m fine with my size. When you no longer feel bad, you have found acceptance. It’s just a neutral feeling of I don’t care! It is what it is. 2) Your next step is to fall in love. You must admire your belly, find it adorable, its kinda cute, and you will spend 15 minutes morning and night emotionally loving every inch of your belly. Notice how the feelings of love, or even the feeling of cuteness or amusement shifts the energy of your entire being? Let your feelings be your compass, and make sure you love that belly of yours more than you love your favorite person! 3) Keep practicing this self-adoration, admiration and unconditional love, without any motive and without needing results. This is important because if you are motivated by needing results, spiritually, you are being greedy. Its the wrong energy to be in. Just keep loving that belly no matter what happens. 4) Finally, as you are in that state of love, FEEL how a skinny belly would feel. Remember when your pants were loose, feel the looseness. Remember when your abs were tighter, feel the tightness without feeling reality. When you can combine the last two steps at the same time, unconditional love and slimness without attachment to it (no motive), your body will slowly begin to adjust.
What I mean by “without attachment to the outcome” or without a motive, is that I was not breathing clearly in order to cure asthma, or to be healthy, or to feel powerful. I was simply enjoying the clear breath without any expectation of it. And them my lungs complied. Motives, attachments, greed will kill your progress.
That said, aging is part of our spiritual path. It is the one thing that happens to everybody on this planet. Trying to combat it, is fighting against it. It increases your resistance. Anything you resist persists. You must accept it, love it, enjoy it, embrace it and your body will adjust to exactly how you feel. You can’t stop aging, but you can fall in love with the process and all the wisdom and freedom that comes with it. You will love how your body reacts to your new attitude.