How To Know You Are Winning

No one will ever tell you that you are winning in life, so how would you know when you are really moving and shaking?

If you were just average, if you managed to blend right in with the crowd, if your opinions did not excite or rock people’s boats, would you have people who are trying to bring you down, knock you off your pedestal, humble you, see you fail? No you wouldn’t. You would be a threat to no one and no one would have a problem with you. Since you have strong opinions, because you think freely and since your word matters, you most certainly threaten somebody. Egos are weak, and many people will feel threatened if you start moving in the fast lane. Therefore, the number one sign that you are doing very well in life is that you have haters. I have never met a successful woman who did not have somebody throwing rocks at her. They do not exist. Therefore, if they are throwing rocks, don’t bat an eyelash. Winners don’t need revenge, just climb up that podium and accept your medal. Take a bow and wave, give them a smile. You are pissing them off and loving life!! That hurts the hater more than any rock.

Do you help others? Truly successful people love propelling others forward. Some of the best people I know, want others to succeed. In fact, they are not threatened by sharing knowledge, giving good advice, connecting, sharing opportunities. The more you love helping others, the more influence you have. And the more influence you have, the more people will try to discredit you. Too smart? They will try to make you look stupid. Got an award? They will tell you not to let it go to your head. Giving away trade secrets, money, or opportunities, they will tell everyone you have a selfish motive. Don’t worry, you are doing something right. Jealous people can’t stand how much others love and appreciate what you’re doing. Once again, do nothing. Never take to heart whatever they say about you, and never miss the people who have been swayed by their badmouthing. Just keep giving your best to others. You’ll be appreciated even more by better people.

Think for yourself, and don’t get swayed by manipulators or controllers? Oh, you are difficult! You are too independent, too aggressive, too opinionated, and all that is not healthy for you. You are guaranteed to get “well meaning” advice from those whose opinions please the sheep, who know how to stroke egos, because they don’t like it when women like you are too brilliant. Why do you need the spotlight so much? You must need to be center of attention.

What’s wrong with that? While you are shining, they’re miserable in your shadow. They sure think it is not good for you, you better dim your light just a little so that everyone feels comfortable around you. You know you have made it, when people are threatened by what you have to say. Of course, discrediting you is a must, how else would they ever feel secure? So, you know you are changing the world when you are saying exactly what you think, people appreciate you for who you are, and others have a problem with that. My advice to you is let them have a problem with that. The interesting thing is, the more they have a problem with you, the more they’ll keep talking. The more they keep talking, the more they discredit themselves. Pretty soon, people will just tune them out. Trust me, when people have the most horrible things to say about you, you are standing on the apex so you better plant your flag right there, and don’t apologize.

If you are the type who is always learning, always bettering herself, always upgrading, always marching forward, you will always be outgrowing the crowd and you will have to let go. Letting go is a power that threatens insecure people. Being able to walk away from disrespect, stale relationships, small minds, toxic situations threatens those who thrive in those situations. In fact, when people first start to connect to you, they will test to see how strong is your bond to them. Make sure you show them right away that you don’t intend to be bound by them, that you don’t plan to stay long, so later when they try to trip you over or control you from leaving, you don’t feel the weight of their obligations. The most powerful women can leave, and this is probably the most threatening trait a woman can have. But, people who are going somewhere in life will never stay in one spot. It is impossible. People’s whose minds are constantly growing, cannot possibly fit into the same social structures. That would be mind-numbing. People who have plans, are taking steps toward a better future, always have better places to be. So plan ahead. There will be chaos when you are ready to fly, so make sure you have enough passion and fuel in your tank to take off. Sayonara, arrivederci, goodbye! Of course you will be the bitch. Just accept it.

You’re authentic. You are living in your truth. You are vulnerable, and totally comfortable in your own skin. You love your flaws, you love life! You must be fake! Nobody could possibly be that confident, joyous, or open. You now threaten everyone who is not that. If you have that life- energy that makes your eyes sparkle, if you have light people will be absolutely belligerent. Nothing in this world can survive without light or energy. And you are the source of that. Everybody needs that, especially empty people. Empty people are the most likely to need you and resent you at the same time. They can’t gratefully appreciate you, they can’t reciprocate positively, nor add anything to your life. And that hurts their ego. The ego can’t admit that you got the juice, that you are the one they need, so they will control, manipulate or try to trigger you into pouring into them. You give your energy away freely when you can, but no, that is not enough. You make people’s egos hurt just with your presence. How they wish you’d just disappear, but how they can’t stand life without your light.

Whatever you’ve got, whatever you have earned, whatever you achieve, somebody will have a problem with it. It will be an even bigger problem when you don’t bow down, you don’t apologize, you don’t let them siphon from you. They will call you selfish, a gold digger, a fake. Let them. Your job isn’t to let them tap into you, your job is to line up with more authentic people. Genuine people have got the juice too. They also have appreciation for who you are, they admire you standing in your truth, they are not so easily threatened by your light. They can generate their own energy too. Healthy people will teach you how to protect your energy, they will honor your boundaries, they will respect the respectable. You don’t have to worry about who will like you, you only have to keep searching for authenticity in people. When you elevate, when you truly expand your consciousness, when you graduate, you will want to be among your peers.

Never underestimate the value of good quality people. They are rarely the most popular, the most beautiful, the skinniest, the fashionable nor the cool. Real people emit an energy and you will recognize them and value them. They will teach you, they will encourage you, they will give you sound advice, because authentic people don’t just add some value to your life, they are the value. Look for them. Instead of chasing people, needing opinions, following sheep, trying to fit in, spend your time cultivating authentic relationships with people who are full of life, joy, energy, wisdom. They are the ones who matter.

As soon as you recognize them, the others will cease to be real, and they will feel it.

The moral of the story is that you know you are doing something right in life when other people start trashing your reputation, throwing rocks at you and trying to stop you. If you allow yourself to listen to their opinions of you, they will succeed in bringing you down. Don’t negotiate with emotional terrorists. Never stoop down to anyone’s level, just keep marching forward. Take a breather, fix yourself some hot tea, and try again in the morning.

S