How to choose your soulmate? Choose you.

By definition, your soulmate, is you. It is that person whose soul matches yours. It is that person whose personal development and all the work that went into it, matches your own work. It is that person who is as evolved, as awake, as enlightened as you. If you are all of those things, then you must be very self-aware. And if you are as self-aware as you should be, then anyone who does not match you, anyone who does not match your personal value system, your level of consciousness, your level of self-love will be a glaring contrast to you. Your soulmate is someone you do not have to compensate for. If you have reached that level of self-awareness, you are complete, you are full, you stand in perfection. There would be no need to bend down, make excuses for, or compensate for a person’s shortcomings if he or she matched your soul.

What is the purpose of all our failed relationships? None of those past relationships are failures, they were simply lessons in you. Many people fail to see that. The purpose of every relationship regardless of whether it was romantic, familial, or social is to gain awareness of who you are at the core level, and how to gain and maintain respect for yourself. Going back to your earliest relationships, you had to learn to relate to others, develop empathy, treat people respectfully, then evaluate whether they respect you enough to make the relationship worthy of you. The only way you could receive respect is to respect yourself first, and that is a lesson that takes the longest to master.

As you got older, and time progressed, you learned what behaviors and belief systems did not honor you, and you learned how to move faster, walking away from relationships which are not in your best interest. Some people believe that this walking away is a bad thing, that somehow ending relationships sooner, represents a lack of effort, lack of persistence, that there is something wrong with people or you. I disagree. Walking away sooner is simply proof that you are learning how to choose you, how to honor yourself first, how to choose situations which are healthy for you, and how to choose people whose inner self matches your own. The more self-aware you are, the more obvious it will be when someone has not reached that level of awareness. A mortal will never be your equal.

A Goddess is a woman who has put in a lot of work into building herself. She has a strong foundation, an unshakeable personal belief system, she knows exactly who she is. She is self-reliant, capable, she has faced and conquered her inner demons, she has repaired her own cracks, she has healed her heart many times and still allowed it to remain wide open. She does not see herself as a victim of men, she is a student of life, and her place in it. She works on mastering herself, building her own character, strengthening her own weaknesses, pursuing her own goals. A Goddess is not concerned with pleasing mortals, or bending down to make smaller men feel equal. She knows what she deserves.

A Goddess’s equal is God himself. Her soul’s mate can only be that one whose reflection matches her level of completion, her level of self-awareness, her self-esteem. And a God won’t settle for a mortal woman who will admire and look up to him, nor would he be satisfied by a woman who can only stroke his ego. Such women hold no value at all. A God is a man who has created himself, and can only be satisfied by a worthy counterpart. The two are whole and complete people, neither having to compensate or bend down for the other.

All of life’s relationships are a lesson in you. When you failed a lesson, it always repeated itself with similar relationships, until you gained an understanding of your own patterns, and learned how to choose you. Maybe you still haven’t learned it. If you are still not consistently choosing you, your self-respect, your honor, and your being, you are not standing on your pedestal, and you are not going to be worshiped until you do. No one will worship a mortal, but masses and masses will worship you when you are a Goddess. Keep working on you.

If you are directing your frustration and anger at men who have not met you on your level of completion, you are wasting your time. It is not their job to step up and be who you need them to be. It is your job to keep rising, evolving, perfecting your own being. Your work is none of their business, and their path is none of yours.  In the course of your lifetime, you will encounter many road-blocks, suffer many setbacks, battle your own demons, you will bleed. Don’t be fooled. Your soulmate is not the one who stitches your heart up, it is the one who has bled just as you, has as many wounds and bruises as you do, and has learned an equal number of life’s lessons. Your soulmate is the one who knows how to choose himself too. He has an equal level of self-respect, and can just as easily spot a woman who has not reached his own level of personal development. Your soulmate will keep walking until he meets his equal. Don’t chase people who are walking, they are not for you.

Finding a soulmate is a journey within the self. It is a journey of consistently choosing you, over any relationship, and always being true to your own self. It is a journey of developing honor for the self, and consistently honoring it.

When you choose you, you continue to evolve. As you are growing, you matches will be people who are temporarily on your level, but the goal is to self-actualize, not to settle for what is available. When you reach that level of completion, when you feel whole without anybody else, when you notice that others see in you what you see in yourself, you will notice that people value you to a much greater degree than ever before. People will compete for your time and your attention because it is valuable to them. They will respect your beliefs, honor your time and space, value your opinions. You won’t have to ask for respect, you will command it easily. You won’t have to chase people, they will willingly be in your presence. That is the time to choose your soul mate. Your soul mate will never be a beggar starving for your attention, nor a demander of your respect. He will be your equal. You will easily recognize God when you see him. But until then, keep choosing you.

S