There is a freedom, and an immense liberation in loving people anyway. All of those who we have walked away from, those we have lost, those who will never come back. It may be contrary to how we have been taught to love, but religion, romance novels, and dating manuals have taught us to love conditionally.
When we love in exchange for something like a relationship, commitment, a ring, we love conditionally. Yet, since the dawn of religion, women have been indoctrinated into believing that love in exchange of marriage, respect, or eternity, is the only kind of love. We have been told that anything else is sinful, shameful, a sign of mental illness or lack of morality.
But there is something inherently wrong and absolutely disempowering with this concept. It is no wonder when it comes to love, sex and dating, that women have been disempowered for centuries, left to chase and pine for romance, fidelity, respect, and the ultimate symbol of validation- the marriage contract.
But, historically, men have always had a free pass to sow their wild oats, experience love, lust, passion, heartache, rebounds, defeat, comebacks, the chase, and all of life’s guilty pleasures. Experience is power, and the one thing women have been shielded from in the past, is experience.
Once I gave myself permission to experience all that love has to offer, I learned just what a powerful creature I am. I found myself on equal footing, and very often above the power any Romeo has in love, sex, and relationships. I am not boasting, I am simply encouraging women to experience more, and do so fearlessly.
One of the biggest lessons I learned that has enabled me to make fast recoveries, is to always keep my heart open, and to love people anyway. This is in fact, how we love unconditionally, purely, and fearlessly. When we trade love for a relationship (or anything else we need), we love conditionally. Naturally, when that relationship ends, we think we cannot, or should not love that person any more, and hence the immense heartache, saga, and pain we face trying to now erase that person out of our hearts. But this is unnecessary, and in fact demoralizing because we are now faced with the unattractive truth- we were trading.
This is not the woman’s fault at all. Every text ever written about love instructed us that this was the only way to love. The same texts taught us that women suffer for love, that love is extremely painful, and that women must protect themselves from potential of pain or too much experience. And thus, chastity, morality, respectability became more important than knowledge about relationships, and the truth about the power of unconditional love.
Years ago, as I was embracing this single life, and devoted myself to learning everything there is to know about love, my personal power, and my magnetism, I made a decision to love unconditionally and without fear of loss or rejection. I gave myself permission to love all men who have hurt me, all men I chose to walk away from, all relationships that taught me valuable lessons but no longer served me. I noticed immediately, the power of keeping an open heart.
Loving someone anyway, gave me a new sense of freedom and liberation from pain. It also allowed me to keep my power and self-respect, by understanding that the choice to love someone is all mine, and that choice doesn’t end just because someone has chosen to walk away. I still have the same power to love that person as much as I want, and as long as I want.
Continuing to love someone long after the relationship is over, is pure love because it is not dependent on a relationship. Continuing to love despite the breakup demonstrates that you never traded love for anything, and the freedom to love remains yours. That is a tremendous power to have in relationships.
Knowing that no one has the power to rip my heart open, and take away love, allows me to give love fearlessly, openly and unconditionally. That love doesn’t depend on anyone but myself. It depends on no conditions at all, and I am free to give it to whomever I choose. Does that make me immoral? No, it makes me a very powerful woman. Men can’t play games with me, I don’t crumble. When they see how freely I let them walk away, and keep walking, they beg to come back.
I don’t love freely to manipulate men- a Goddess doesn’t need to do that. I love freely, to be love. I am love at all times, and shower worthy people with love energy when they are in my presence. I shower exes with love long after they leave, send them positive energy, wish them the best, hope they find better lovers than I ever was, and genuinely love them forever. Does it hurt? NO. The love remains in my heart forever, no matter where they are. Do I take them back? No. I have more love to share with men who have more experiences to show me. Am I cold or heartless? Ask anyone who knows me, and the answer is a resounding No- I radiate love.
Love is NOT in the other person. As long as you believe this, you will hurt when men walk away. Love is in YOU. As long as you know this, no one can take it away from you. You are free to love anyway. You are free to love as long as you want. And you are free to let people go, knowing that it is in everyone’s best interest. As far as I’m concerned, that is a powerful way to be.
Once I understood that love resides in my heart, and not in someone else, I understood what it means to love forever. It is ridiculous to demand any person devote their life and their eternity to me. I won’t be dependent on that fairy tale. True love is without condition, and without a contract. Pure love is always free flowing, no matter where the other person is.
Many people accuse me of being anti marriage, relationships, or romance, but nothing can be further from the truth. I have had all of those things, and will always continue to have them. I respect marriage, I simply teach women to not pine for it. I love romance, and my newfound power has drawn to me hordes of men expressing love and devotion to me. I revel in my magnetism, and teach women how to draw that power onto themselves. I believe that every women owes it to herself to love herself openly, experience men shamelessly, and wield her personal power until she glows in her own divinity.
As always, no apologies and no regrets.
I think one of the requirements of this is self-love: you have to feel lovable. Many of us don’t. This is undoubtedly our problem to solve and you provide a powerful example.