Why is the institution of marriage failing? There must be something wrong with people today. Why are divorce rates skyrocketing? Because married people aren’t trying hard enough to repair their failing marriages. Why are women marrying later in life? Because they have invested too much in their educations and careers and are finding a dearth of eligible bachelors today.
Does the above sound like a bunch of bullshit? It is. Contrary to mass media campaigns to make us aware of our decreasing value as women, to make the younger generations fearful of the risks of being left out of the marriage race, to shame women who are not married, and to scare women who have not reproduced, the simple reason the institution of marriage is failing is that it isn’t serving anybody.
In my personal and logical opinion, the institution of marriage is failing because fewer and fewer people need it. There is nothing wrong with people who are delaying or postponing marriage, many of us are not even trying to find a spouse. I for one, do not need one. I receive a lot of pure love, quality sex, legitimate proposals and true affection, that I don’t need to settle for anyone.
Why are divorce rates skyrocketing? Because intelligent people are realizing that life is too short to live in unhappy relationships, and too precious not to be experienced fully. Believe me, no one leaves a marriage casually, nor without experiencing massive heartache. We are simply leaving to honor ourselves. I left a 15 year marriage to an amazing man and my best friend to grow myself. I am grateful beyond words that I had the opportunity to experience life on my own terms, learn how to love fearlessly, enjoy mind blowing sex with men I felt no obligation to love, have my heart shattered multiple times, learn to recover, learn to walk away from what no longer serves me. I’d say, since I divorced, I earned an A+ in life experience, and for that I am filled with deep gratitude to the spouse who let me go.
Why are women marrying later in life? Because we have options and a wide variety of choices we haven’t experienced since the dawn of mankind. We are not pathetic, lonely, miserable, counting the days until our biological clock expires. We are growing, learning, investing in ourselves, having wild sex outside of marriage, traveling the world, liberating ourselves from tradition, and indoctrination cultures and religion have imposed on us. Is that wrong? Only to those at the losing end of the equation. The simple fact is we are free, and hungry to experience all that life has to offer. Can you blame us for choosing to stay single as long as possible?
But there is much more to the wonder and delights of the single life. As soon as I embarked on this journey, I embarked on a process of self discovery. I started to travel solo, push my own boundaries without holding anyone’s hand, and by simply rejecting social criticism and fear mongering, I got in touch with my own power. I discovered my capacity to push forth, try new things, lose myself, and the further I went the more ecstatic the experiences became. I wondered why have women been shielded from this knowledge and such pleasures for centuries?
Knowledge is power, and knowledge of our inner power is that thing we have been restricted from. Once discovered, I had no intention of letting go of that Goddess I now teach women to get in touch with. She is a powerful creature capable of great things, and no, she isn’t going back to tradition and domesticity- those things do not serve her.
To be clear, I have nothing against marriage. I loved being married, and lived in marital bliss for years. But marriage did not serve me. It is impossible to grow in the same direction as someone else. Marriage pulls you in your partner’s direction, or your children’s direction, but rarely into a woman’s own direction. Many women are simply unaware of what their life path is, because they are following someone else’s. Marriage will always serve some people. There are both men and women out there, who will always rely on the institution to provide them with safety, security, companionship and peace of mind of having a binding contract with a spouse.
But I don’t want a spouse, I want a soul mate. And I don’t need a marriage contract, I want a deep mind-body union instead. And before I meet my soul mate, I want to experience all that life has to offer. That includes a flourishing career, global adventures, a healthy body and mind, spiritual and personal growth, mind-blowing sex, gorgeous, young lovers in all corners of the globe, and I intend to live it all! If I never meet that amazing man, okay, I am perfectly in touch with myself, and by now, very much in love with myself. But if I meet him, I’ll love him fearlessly, openly and freely. Perhaps we will be monogamous, and perhaps we won’t- we will see what suits us then.
Is that so wrong? I can see why some people are threatened by the decline of marriage. In fear of being left without security, they are terrified about their prospect of eternal loneliness and singlehood. But, today’s generations are much more fearless and much more willing to embrace life’s changes, grab opportunities, and ride the roller coaster of life. Since I left my marriage, I embarked on a beautiful journey. I let go of all fears, grew from experience, got bruised many times, walked away easily and effortlessly, but most of all discovered the person I was always meant to be.
I don’t blame women nor men for saying No Thanks to marriage. In fact, I respect them for having the courage to walk.