You came into this world with one purpose only, to experience life beautifully. What is beautiful to you, is yours to decide. What is beautiful to me may be unacceptable to many people, but I pursue life’s ultimate experiences as I desire. I struggled to make my desires acceptable for years.
Yes, when I decided to get out there and experience men in all their glory, I heard a lot of criticism, especially from people with degrees in psychiatry. She is hurting herself, self-sabotaging, disrespecting herself, she needs help. On the contrary, honoring yourself with whatever your heart’s desire is the mark of a Goddess. With that comes the awareness and acceptance that yes, mistakes will be made, unfavorable situations will be experienced, and pain will be felt. In fact, I did it all for the experience to learn about myself, find my missing boundaries, learn how to regrow a heart, assess my mistakes and reposition myself into a wiser, stronger, more powerful woman.
In fact, experience is our only teacher. Good or bad, we need both types of lessons. My inner strength and wisdom came mostly from the painful experiences, less from the good ones. I was willing to hit rock bottom multiple times, to learn how to maintain balance.
Are there experiences in your life you always wished but never felt worthy? Have you been bottling up that curiosity because if they find out, you’d be shamed or judged for it? When I was sad and married, I gave myself permission to have an affair. I desired it, and needed it, and made a conscious effort to attain that. I also set the intention that I would not feel guilty, I will not judge myself, and if it wrecked my marriage I would fully accept the consequences. It didn’t wreck my marriage, it improved it. I am not recommending you go out there and cheat, I do recommend you start honoring your heart’s desires because you came into this world to live fully and exceptionally.
Have you forgotten what it feels like to feel alive? Not just lifelike, but totally wired, in awe of life’s ultimate experiences, that moment when trees start talking, energy starts gushing through your body, and your entire day feels like a giant orgasm. To live in permanent ecstasy is not a drug-induced state. In fact it is the opposite. It can only be a self-induced state, because the power isn’t in the chemical with limited properties and potential, it is in yourself and your awareness of the infinite. When you produce that state at will, with your mind as the only tool, you become one with all there is. When Salvador Dali said “I don’t need drugs, I am drugs” this is exactly what he meant.
We humans live within the boundaries we created in our own heads. Enter any new situation, and we already have a pre-determined paradigm for it. Our idea of What Can I Be? usually falls within the boundaries of what degree do I have? Our idea of what can I have, usually falls within the boundaries of what will they offer me? As if earning more, taking more, and achieving more is dependant on other people.
What do I want to experience in life? Everything outside my ever widening parameters. No matter what area of my life, I want that which is disapproved, illogical, imprudent and always shifting. I learned long ago that life’s ultimate experiences lie on the other side of fear. Machiavelli instructed “Fear Nothing”, and this is a quote I thoroughly live by. Fear is just a feeling we are afraid to feel. Nothing more. Allow yourself to feel it, become okay with the discomfort, then watch fear disappear like magic.
In fact, my ability to master my mind and overcome fear as well as a thousand other disabilities has freed me from what I had become. In my earlier version 2.0, I was a boxed in, people-approved, good daughter, banker and wife. That was all I thought I could be. I feared the life outside this program because everything I had was comfortable. Had you told me that I could become a v.3.0, I would have said no thanks, I’m good, I have everything I need. Had my program not crashed beyond recovery, I never would have had to start recoding myself again, build a new paradigm, and create a new reality.
My v.3.0 was a failure. I programmed it with fear. I experienced doom from the earlier crash, and armed with knowledge of loss, anxiety, panic, fear and hopelessness I made a glitchy program that would abort every time I tried to start it. Did I let it go? Nope, I insisted it would work if I learned to live with it. It was ugly. My mid thirties were a hideous, toxic mess of life’s ultimate mistakes. But is there really such a thing as a mistake? No, just experience.
Here I am staring proudly at me, v.4.0. I am still far from perfect, but very proud of me. I am clear, I am free, I am unlimited, I am constantly changing because I have accepted every version of me. Pain is a thing of the past because I realized it is only a choice. Fear is a foreign concept because whatever I accept and let go, I master.
What I experience now is who I am now. In connection with my beingness, I am everything. Every experience I want to feel is mine without guilt, without fear, without consequence. Once you become okay with all consequence, all potentials of loss disappear. What is loss? Just a feeling, just a perception, just a state of self-judgment.
In that limitless state, am I capable of honoring other people, relationships, and ideas? Absolutely, as long as they all honor me. I am incapable of honoring anything which dishonors me. I am so hyper-aware of all that I am, that all that falls short of the state of permanent bliss is a dishonor. Who or whatever reaches me up at this level can stay, and I will honor it profusely.
But what about people who can’t reach that high? How can you leave them behind? I can aid them better from up here. They don’t have to want to climb, in fact they can stay in a state of whatever suits them. But if and when they decide to climb, I will always guide them up, not through concerted effort, but through resonance. If who I am resonates with you, you will always find me.
So, what state are you in? There are many words for the state. I don’t want to put a label on it because some people will be offended by its size, or confuse the word with a false sense of grandiosity or ego. I call this my Goddess-state because when I first reached it prophetic visions flooded my mind. I began to see with different eyes, eyes I always had but were never open. I began to perceive beyond this projection we call reality. Suddenly energy was readable, my cells could talk, my mind was a receiver and I could see through people, situations and global events. Nothing was as it seemed, everything had a connection to its origin.
There are symbols in world cultures that were meant to be understood by only those whose eyes are open. Suddenly, I could read them, understand them and know that there are no conspiracies, there is just resonance between those who need no language to speak. In fact, I know what level of consciousness a person is on, simply by their attitude toward that which lays hidden from them. Some know their access to it, others will always resent it.
Resonance is how most of us communicate on a deeper, meaningful level. You don’t need to reach your higher self, you will always resonate with those who are exactly on your frequency. Those people you feel a spark with are the ones on your level. So study them, and you will know exactly how far you need to go and in which direction.
Make no mistake, when I am in my Goddess state, I am God, and nothing less. That is what it feels like to be here, utterly limitless. It takes some mastery to stay here for extended periods of time, and there are in fact very few people resonating at this level. It can get pretty lonely here, but I stay because it feels awesome.
What can I do in this state? I easily see through people, their motives, global events. I can sense the stock market and sense how it feels. I feel people’s pain and know the origins of their diseases. I have even been able to cure a few with mere words. When I am up here I understand all there is. In fact, I have perfect clarity.
A reader recently wrote me that she can tell when I am writing from my Goddess state, or when I am communicating as a mortal. My words flow more smoothly, I am in touch with all there is and I deliver exactly what needs to be said, exactly to who needs to hear it. Everyone else sees only words on paper and hears only gibberish.
I have had experiences where I meet a complete stranger, and in a matter of minutes deliver exactly that knowledge that they need to help them with their work. I was at a lecture listening to a researcher speak passionately about a subject I previously knew nothing about. She was beaming with excitement, knowing very well that what she was proposing fell far outside the parameters of what was accepted by her peers. But I knew she was on the right track, her theory was almost complete, if only she could prove it. As she continued talking I could see the missing pieces were directly under her nose. They stood out on the screen like glowing X-rays, she just didn’t see or know the significance of them.
Will she think I’m crazy? My advice has nothing to do with her profession. At the end of the lecture, I asked for her card then told her I’d contact her to invite her to an event I was hosting. Weeks later she was still on my mind, especially her seemingly preposterous idea she was trying to prove. But I had all her answers so I started writing whatever was flowing through me. I must have written a six page letter, and I linked all her missing pieces to information proven in other fields completely unrelated to hers, and I hit send. Somehow I knew that even if she thought it was useless, on some level she will understand how all the pieces fit her theory. I just connected her dots. Then next morning, she called me at 7am to ask for permission to publish my words exactly as they flowed out of me. She claimed there was no other way for her to reconnect the dots in her own words and have them make the same sense. Of course, the words were meant for her.
This state some call limitless, is available to all of us. We all are born from it, and we come to this world perfectly connected to all there is. It isn’t a state available to only a few who know the secret hand shake to get in, and it isn’t meant to be hidden away from you. In fact, this state is right above your nose, so to speak. It resides in your own mind, and your access is only denied if you purposely block yourself from it, with your unwillingness to explore and become comfortable with your mind. You cannot buy a certificate of completion and claim to possess it, and you cannot earn it by following life’s rules. In fact, if you do that, you will be permanently blocked from it.
Aside from meditating and becoming comfortable with my own mind, I was also shedding fears, stepping outside my own boundaries, and learning to do exactly those things I was always warned not to do. It is exactly there that you start to lose your attachment to social constructs. They are just illusions upon illusion of rights and wrongs, false morality that serves others but not you, pressures to conform and join the sleeping masses, be normal.
There are very few people living outside the boundaries they constructed for themselves. You might not recognize them, but they are the ones laughing in the face of extreme danger and doing it anyway. No, they are not addicted to the rush of doing something stupid, they are doing it because they are aware of their limitlessness. Those super achievers, the renegades who stop at nothing until they prove the unprovable, are the ones who are awake, and truly living life. Ideas flow to them with ease because they are in their God-mind, and are totally owning it.
When they are not exceeding their own expectations, they are busy enjoying that chocolate sampler I call life. What they enjoy is totally up to them, they earned the right to shape their own reality through mastery of their own minds, and experience the best that life has to offer on their own terms. Have you noticed that they never apologize for what they have, and never regret a single thing?
In fact, that is the Goddess Principles motto: No apologies, no regrets.