Are you on your path? How would you know? A lot of my friends are seekers, explorers, inquisitive about the nature of their reality. Most people intuitively know that there’s more to reality than this. And in their process of discovery, they sometimes get turned around, get off their path, not knowing that they were on it all along. It is easy to get lost and get disoriented. After all, some of us get on the right course blindly, simply by following an inner guidance system we aren’t completely aware of.
When we follow that inner voice, that gut feeling, that moment of true inspiration we stand firmly on our path. You have heard the expression “Follow your bliss”. What does that truly mean? Some people follow their bliss, while others demand that bliss follows them. Bliss is not that idea, action, or item that you believe will put you in a state of bliss. Let’s say that you assume that quitting your job, and spending the next few years roaming the globe will put you in a state of bliss, you are wrong. You will quickly discover that being jobless, and without a source of income in this big crazy world can be daunting. Sure, that’s how some people discover themselves. That is exactly how Buddha discovered his self. But Buddha did not set out to follow an idea, nor an experience, instead he started walking, discovering and accepting whatever came his way, hunger, starvation, exposure to harsh elements. Most people who are faced with hose conditions would become miserable.
Following your bliss means following your higher self. We have all been high. Regardless of how we induce that state, the state is a connection to an energy that aligns us with out true selves, and essentially places us in a state of openness, trust that whatever we are open to is in our highest good, a state of allowing and flow. If you can train yourself into that state and recall it on demand through meditation, you are what Buddha called God. That is the God-state.
Most people who don’t meditate, and don’t use illegal substances, sometimes get into that state accidentally. You hear your favorite song, you light up, you let loose, start moving, start dancing and for a few minutes, as long as the song lasts, you feel free, you flow. And then the song ends, and your connection with the flow of that energy gets cut off. Or you are jumping on a trampoline, allow yourself to jump higher, and higher, allow yourself to fall freely, and in that freefall you connect with that energy that flows. Naturally you feel high when you allow yourself to enjoy the trampoline, or a fast car, an amazing song, or a spectacular sunrise.
What is actually happening in that high state is that you are totally connected to your higher self, the You that is the true you. That version of you that is completely unedited, unembellished, free and fearless, not wearing a false mask. When you operate from that higher state that is when your feet are planted firmly on your path. This is where you have utmost confidence that there is nothing to seek, it feels right, you know it is right, and every decision you make, every word you utter in this state is your absolute truth.
Naturally, no one stays in this state forever, so don’t beat yourself up for coming back down to earth. It is a law of nature that what goes up must come down. Tides ebb and flow. The earth tilts so the seasons can change. Existence is a constant state of change and flow, so you must change and flow with it. Both mental states, connection with the self (high), and lack of connection (low) are natural. Notice how your mind, and your decision making abilities change in each state. In a high, connected state, you to operate on a higher level. Each word you utter reflects the true you, it feels good, it feels right, you might even achieve resonance because it reflects who you actually are. This is what it means to follow one’s bliss- you are operating from a state of bliss in your highest interest. Decisions made here feel like inspiration and making those decisions feels like being propelled forward. Making a decision from the state of bliss is that decision that is on your course, a decision that allows you to stay on your path.
Unlike the person who quit her job to travel the world thinking she will find her bliss somewhere out there, you made the decision from within you. First you entered that state all by yourself, then you allowed your higher self to show you what decision will bring you more bliss, and then you got inspired to move in that direction. Do you see how the two decisions are very different and will have very different results in reality?
How does the opposite mental state feel? Choosing what course to take, when operating from that low mind state, feels like a painful decision. It feels hard because you might be choosing something that is opposite of what is truly in your highest good, perhaps it is in someone else’s best interest. It feels like a duty to something or someone outside your self. It feels like an obligation, a chain, a mental prison. Regardless, that feeling is that sign on the road that tells you that you are going the wrong way.
Years ago I was in a relationship with an amazing man. As always, I spoke my truth and informed him up front that I never want to have children and that marriage is something that I am not so sure about. He said he was okay with that, and was willing to see what happens. A year into the relationship he started hinting about marriage. How did his hints feel to me? Like a kick in the gut. The more he kept bringing up the subject, the tighter the knots in my belly felt. The more I thought about what he wants, the harder it was for me to get into that high mental state I so easily get myself into. Even meditation was kicking me out of my own mind. It felt like I was going to have to make a hard decision, and I kept avoiding this conversation for months. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, I didn’t want to break up, but every time I thought about where he was heading I felt paralysis.
Then finally one day he said that he was ready to buy house, invest in our future and make a big move. When I asked why he wanted to buy the big house, he said that naturally there will be children. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Didn’t he know I don’t want kids? How did we get down this path when I told him many times this is not something I want? How is it possible for me to be standing on this road with him, when this is the absolute opposite situation I want to be in? The reason this felt awful for me is because I was not standing on my own path, I was standing on his. I was going along with something that didn’t feel quite right from the start. I knew in the back of my mind that he had an agenda that was different from mine, but his words reassured me that I must be imagining something. My intuition was telling me all along that I am going down the wrong, very wrong path with this person. I had a harder time connecting to myself, getting into that high state, meditation was becoming more challenging, and just going with the flow of his relationship didn’t feel right. I was making one wrong decision after another, allowing him to lead me to what was right for him. I found myself standing at the edge of a cliff. On one hand I really loved and cared for this person, on the other hand what he was asking for felt like death to me. I knew that if I went through with this I would die inside.
All humans get off their path, and we do it frequently. The purpose of life is to get lost, disoriented, so that we can learn how to re-connect with our higher self, and allow it to guide us towards the life we always wanted to create. Obstacles and problems are just signs on our road. I now know that the decisions I make in that high mental state are in my own best interest, not in someone else’s. The words I speak from that state are my ultimate truth. Sometimes my words resonate with other people who are usually right for me in some capacity, and they are offputting to others who are not in my energetic vicinity. I have learned to distinguish between people who operate from a high state of inspiration and those who operate from a low state of control, neediness, lack of center or validation. I no longer try to create relationships with people who are on another plane. I don’t judge them, I simply do not connect.
Once you are off course, it may be tricky to get back on. We all have an inner GPS system that is constantly calling us towards our own path. Sometimes, when we are not feeling so good, are going through a rough time, or even anxious or depressed, our ability to hear it’s guidance is numbed. It’s signals shoot through a much higher frequency than a sad or depressed person is operating from.
The best way to reconnect with the self is to be alone for an extended period of time. You might be tempted to seek advice from outside yourself, but that will only lead you to someone else’s path. Be alone. The most powerful people on earth are perfectly comfortable with their self. In silence, when we are free from other people’s input we receive brief moments of clarity. What do I truly want to say? How do I actually feel? If I speak words that soothe others, what I truly feel is rage inside. You realize that you are doing it to yourself, you are depressing yourself- no one else is doing it for you. Your inner self knows how it feels, but your logical self edits those feelings and arranges it into words that are easier for others to swallow. I just uttered something that isn’t entirely true to me, but is the more appropriate thing to say. How does that feel? Do you feel the wrongness in that energy? You are lying to your self, you are beating your inner truth out of your self, then you are wondering who is this self that I am trying to get in touch with?
I was recently chatting with a friend whose admirer was twisting her arm into going on a date and possibly hooking up with her later. She did not feel good about this. She wasn’t attracted to him at all. The harder he tried to make plans, the worse she felt. She started avoiding him, then cancelled plans, then told him a white lie, and then started to consider how to spin the truth of how she actually feels into words that are going to be acceptable for him to hear. Meanwhile her body was talking to her by showing her exactly what she was doing wrong. On Thursday her throat was a bid coarse, by Friday she had a tight lump in her throat. The longer she considered how to craft an appropriate message for him, the tighter her throat felt. Meanwhile, there was no sign of illness, just a tight lump. That is her throat chakra signaling her that she is not speaking her truth. In reality, she as quite upset by his advances. He is a close friend of a guy she previously dated and she felt dismayed that he would be twisting her arm into spending the weekend with him despite the fact that she is his best friend’s ex. So much about their interaction felt wrong to her, but she was trying to be nice, be polite, and the nicer she was the more he sought to have his way, which was definitely not in her best interest. When we are not listening to our GPS, the body will scream that there is something wrong. The more you keep ignoring it, the more painful and obvious the signal is.
In order to correct our course, we have to reconnect with our inner truth. We have to honor how we truly feel in a situation, and use our words to correctly describe that feeling. Sit in that bad feeling and allow it. Your body is talking to you through that energy, so pay attention to it. Take a pen and paper and start writing words that describe that tightness in the pit of your stomach. Does it feel gross, does it feel like fear, does it feel like control and manipulation, or does it feel like anger rage, imprisonment? That feeling and those words are the true nature of the situation. Those are your true feelings on the subject.
Write a letter and address it to the person whose behavior matches how you feel. You don’t actually have to mail it, but you have to write it. Get in touch with how you truly feel about him, her or the situation, and only write the truth and nothing but the truth. Resist the temptation to “reinterpret” your feelings, embellish words, or write what that person wants to hear. You are honoring your feelings here, not theirs. Write as long as you have to. Write for an hour or two, keep writing throughout the day, purge all your feelings onto that paper. If you have to cry, let it out. If you have to release more emotions, keep writing well into the night. Write as long as that feeling in the pit of your stomach or that lump in your throat hurts. The goal is to first get in touch with your true feelings, expel them, then direct them in the appropriate direction.
Is there someone in your life to whom you have never been able to accurately convey how you truly feel? Regardless of whether they are open to listening, whether they are willing to accept your truth, you are responsible only for your part- to get those pent up feelings out of your gut, and either symbolically release them, or deliver them to the person (if you feel they can appropriately deal with them). Often people don’t want your true feelings. Understand, that is their right. My father never wanted my feelings, he only wanted me to honor him with actions and behavior that supported how he wanted to feel about himself. My mother will only listen when my words make her feel coddled. That is fine. Allow people to accept or reject your feelings. After all, your feelings are not theirs.
If you are in a solid relationship with a person who actually wants to know how you feel, and is interested in your truth, it is a good idea to share those feelings accurately and without embellishment. Explaining to my ex that I felt cheated and deceived by his leading me down a path he knew I didn’t want to go would have been very helpful to him, but more helpful to me. Speaking that truth would have released me from the agony of deceit I kept feeling for years and bringing into every future relationship with me.
Once the letter is written, and your truth is spoken, pay attention to how you feel now both physically and mentally. Does your body feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off it’s shoulders? Does your mind feel clearer or lighter? That lightness of energy is your GPS slowly guiding you back onto your course. You can burn the letter forever releasing that energy from your awareness, or you can use it as an outline of the exact words you must convey to the person you have to speak to. You may not want to mail a 10 pager to a person who might be overwhelmed by your emotions, but you can condense it into a one page letter that accurately reflects how you truly feel. If the person is willing to deal with your feelings, send the letter. You must honor people’s choice and unwillingness to process your feelings, never force your feelings on others.
The act of writing the letter helps you get in touch with your truth, so it serves your own higher purpose. It cleanses you of energies that you don’t want to carry. You cannot expect others to want to carry your negative feelings for you. If they don’t want it, don’t give it to them.
You will notice how speaking your truth re-connects you to your higher self. You will also notice how your body and mind feel once the truth has set you free. You actually will feel free, and will easily flow back towards your center or your path. Your path is nothing more than an energetic connection to your inner self, to source, to the universe, or what some people refer to as God. Whatever you want to call it (I simply see it as energy), this is the place to find your GPS and allow it to lead you to your next destination.
I reconnect with this energy twice a day in meditation. Over the years that I have been in this practice, I have learned to enter the state of bliss or ecstasy on demand. I stay in it as long as it feels good. I make no decisions, nor moves unless I am in that state. In that state, I will easily know what to do. Outside of that state, I often don’t.
Many of my friends experiment with drugs to achieve certain mental states. I am okay with that. I don’t blame people for trying that, because it is the desire to find a higher state that is actually a step on our path. So far, I have not encountered a person who has benefited from a drug permanently, nor a person whose experience did not hit a threshold. There is always a limit to how high any drug will take you, and there is always a finale. In meditation there are no limits because the universe is infinite. We experience as much or as little as we are open to. When I am totally open, I see, hear, know, feel, smell, taste and experience infinity with more senses than science has ever identified. I perceive the universe with senses I cannot describe in words. And when I am only partially open, yes, my meditation experience is limited though still beneficial. It all depends on me.
But, your path is just an energetic guidance system, nothing else. You know when you are in those higher states when decisions seem inspired, like no-brainers. And you know when you are totally disconnected, when every experience feels like dense energy in your physical body. Practice letting go, releasing energy, and connecting yourself to flow. How you connect is totally up to you. If you enjoy loud dance music, allow yourself to dance your way into nirvana. Many of my friends experience a runner’s high- that is their state of perfection. And for me, I close my eyes, become still and my mind lights up like a light bulb. My reality is absolutely blinding. Your state of flow, your lightness of being is your path.