What Do You Bring To The Table?

What do you bring to the table? Have you ever been asked that question by a guy? How did you answer?

I have seen so many A+++++ women squirm, and actually try to answer this question, posed by very low value men. First of all, why do they ask that?

Think about it. He already asked you out, so he already saw something of interest. No one would ask you out, if they see nothing they like.

A lot of developed women know exactly what we bring to the table. Many of us are educated, speak several languages, are worldly, are talented, are beautiful, are self-aware, are accomplished, are leaders. We have a full resume of self-worth and self-esteem, and by now we all know how to answer this question.

The reason males ask this question isn’t because they don’t know what you bring to the table. They have eyes, they have ears, they have a brain so they can put it all together.What you bring is obvious.

They ask this question to put you in the uncomfortable position of having to answer for yourself, validate who you are, build a case for yourself. The minute you utter a word in your self-defense, you are in a defensive position. The minute you utter that first sentence, you have attempted to justify who you are. Every word you state from this point on is ammunition he can use to invalidate everything that you say.

You say “I am a talented cook” , then he says “I can pay anyone to cook for me”. “I am a successful business woman”, so he replies “I’m a business man too”, “I speak 3 languages”, “What good are those languages to me?”. He will invalidate whatever you worked hard to build and grow for yourself. So you might realize, maybe I’m not that special. He’s right, any woman can do what I do. Sure, lot’s of women are prettier than me. What was I thinking, so many women are smarter than me. He is right, I’m not any better than him. Maybe I should get off my high-horse and settle. Wait a minute, he really is my equal, I should give this guy a chance and settle for him.

Who asks this question is attempting to place himself in a position of power, but any woman who answers this questions is allowing him that position. Never forget that he asked you on that date, that he asked for your company, therefore he is the one applying for a position in your life. Never give away your power.

When a person applies for a job, who asks to see a resume and qualifications? The applicant or the boss? The applicant. Who is in the position of power? The employer or the boss? When someone asks for your time, a date, a chance, it is because you already have what they want: attention, energy, sex, beauty, status, security, femininity. Rather than validate that insulting question with an answer, it is your job to determine whether they qualify for you. What questions they ask on that first date, how they make you feel, whether they approach you with respect or a power-play tells you everything you need to know. Don’t be afraid to judge that first approach.

I used to get asked this question a lot by males who actually knew long before I gave them a chance what I bring to the table. Many of these guys pursued me for years and I was just disinterested. One of them asked me out for 8 years straight, but my instinct told me nope. Then one day at a party, while he was surrounded by his cronies, he asked me why he should want me, and what I would bring to his table.

I said “NOTHING. I bring nothing to your table. As you have noticed, I am not applying for a position in your life, I have never asked for your approval. My table is too full and too rich for you to be sitting at it.” And I walked away.

I’m glad I said it in front of his friends, because that’s the kind of response males twist and exaggerate into their own win. However, I do hope that none of you would ever validate that question with a response. It is a trap to get you to stoop down to his level.

All males know what you bring to the table. Every single woman, job or no job, career or no career, money or no money is always being pursued. Males never stop looking for women, they spend their whole lives always looking and measuring whom they can have. Even married men are always validating their egos, checking to see which women respond to them, which ones smile at them, which ones engage with them. They put women in two piles, the ones they can have, and the ones they can’t have. The ones they have, they don’t always respect, and the ones they cannot have, hurt their egos.

But if you are a high-value woman with a strong self-esteem, you should not defend your value to a male who has not earned your attention, who has not approached you with utmost respect, and who thinks he can devalue you by triggering you to argue for your self-worth.

Never validate that toxic question with a response. You know who you are, and he knows what you bring to the table, that’s why he is trying to get a seat. Instead, see this question as a red flag. He just asked you to validate yourself.

I am comfortable saying NOTHING, I bring nothing to your table. But if you’re not, it’s better to just shut that conversation down. Delete, ignore, walk-away, swipe-right if you must, but never step on that landmine.

S

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