Maybe it’s not you. Maybe it’s him. Here’s a tactic all Goddesses should be aware of. The most insecure men will actually create situations to make you feel insecure, about the choices you’ve made, your successes, your ambitions, especially if he can’t compete.
Do you make more money? Do other men notice you? Do you treat yourself exceptionally well? Can you afford to leave him? These are all reasons why a guy might feel insecure.
We women tend to wear insecurities on our sleeves, and are not afraid to talk about them. But, men can’t afford to do that without bruising their egos. Culturally and socially, we have all been taught that women are fragile, but men are all-knowing, strong, and capable. Yet, we all know men who are fully capable of whining, manipulating, playing games, acting macho, checking your phone, trying to make us jealous, etc.
What does this cost you? Well, if you are a smart, capable, career-woman, who has an intelligent head on her shoulders and owns assets, it can cost you a lot to be in a relationship with a man who doesn’t measure up. There are a lot of men out there, who are secure and accepting of the shift in gender roles, and are all for equal pay, and shattering the glass ceiling. They deserve our congratulations and praise.
But we all have met men who want to be with us, but as soon as they get that chance, start playing games, try to dominate, sometimes even belittle us. The simple fact is that there is no reason a healthy, adult male would need to play games, if he doesn’t feel inadequate in some way.
So, what is this costing you? Sure, we all want to be in relationships, but what is the price of keeping an inadequate man in your life? Is he wasting your time? Is he emotionally abusing you? Is he causing you to have self-doubt, or worse, threatening your job, your friendships, your self-respect?
The insecurities of women are a favorite topic of psychologists, self-help manuals, and daytime dramas. But the insecurities of men rarely get discussed. This won’t change, as long as women keep trying to turn these mice into men. More often than not, we accept each offense as our own insecurity, without holding men accountable. Isn’t it time, we start holding men responsible for their own bruised egos?
But the real cost is to our self-worth, our careers, our friendships, our lives. The time it takes to deal with man-drama (texting games, jealousy, irresponsibility, bullying, etc.) is a waste of time, but more importantly, every minute we try to appease him, chips away at our own confidence, and self-respect.
When a man dumps a woman because she is too unstable, it is perfectly understandable. But how many women have the balls, to walk away before the drama even starts? We all recognize the signs, yet somehow we are programmed to give him a chance anyway. We believe that we must work at a relationship really hard, and give it our best.
That may be fine for women who are married and have to preserve the relationship. But in the initial stages of dating, his dramas are your warning sign to walk away. Trust me, you don’t want to work on making an insecure man secure. Not only is that impossible, but it is a losing proposition.
You don’t have to compete with his imaginary fan club, you don’t have to play the texting game, you don’t have to listen to the hints about his exes (if they were so into him, they’d still be with him), you don’t have to keep tabs on his Facebook posts. If he is so insecure to make you jealous, he is the one with the problem, not you.
He is so small, that no matter what you do, won’t turn him into a man. He will either keep testing your boundaries until he breaks you, or he will find a smaller woman, who in the end is the only one who needs him.
An adult male (yes, they do exist, and they’re not all old and bald), communicates with words, not grunts. He speaks in full sentences, and doesn’t conduct relationships via text. When your career, ambition, or the attention you get from other men bother him, he explains in a straight forward way.
You Goddesses, are always to busy to deal with the tantrums. If he isn’t capable of handling you (you all know how to read the signs), walk away.