Men Who Don’t Fit

Girls, you know how much it hurts. You want that Jimmy Choo so badly, but it’s pinching your toes, cutting off your circulation, and causing nerve damage. It is so pretty, but the pain of walking in a pair of Choos is unbearable.


Here’s an all too common problem, we women have. A man, who looks pretty on the outside, but is too small on the inside. On the surface, he looks exactly like what we want. But a few weeks into dating, we see he can’t keep up.


My previous post was about insecure men, and I finished it with an in-depth blog post here:


Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of well-adjusted, educated men out there, who have no problem dating a woman who is the complete package, we just have to learn to recognize them. And, no, they are not all “mature gentlemen” as they like to call themselves.


But this post is about trying to fit a small, insecure man, into your life. As someone who has stubbornly tried that on too many occasions, trust me on this, there is no way you’ll ever make him fit. He will pinch, he’ll cut off your circulation, you’ll have to make yourself so small to fit his tiny ego.


How to recognize the tiny ones? They usually like to puff themselves up, by acting macho, dominating, controlling, playing games, or trying to make you jealous. They can’t help it, so the symptoms show up in the first few weeks. All you have to know is that his behavior won’t change, and there is nothing you can do about it.


I have a ‘take him or leave him’ attitude about this. And unlike most of my female friends, I have a whole other category for a man like this. This is not a man to take seriously, build a relationship with, or try to change. Knowing that he is not the one, I am capable of keeping him on the side, while I meet bigger, more emotionally stable men.


Now, I know, most of you don’t like this idea, as some women can’t have fun with a man without getting attached. I can, and I love this! I’ll save the concept of non-attachment for a future blog post, but it allows me to have my cake and eat it too! And you girls know that is my motto.


Basically, I am always dating, being non-committal to everyone. I am always honest, and tell them up front that I will keep dating other people. If he is ok with that, I maintain a very casual relationship of fun, adventure, travel, without giving a rat’s ass about about the photos he is posting on social media, whom he is texting, or what is going on in his personal life.


Men have been juggling multiple women for centuries, I am simply doing the same, and enjoying it too. The advantage of being non-committal is that I can meet men, get to know them, assess their worthiness, without getting attached or hurt. My time is never wasted on that guy who doesn’t fit into my life. I am out there browsing for an upgrade at all times.


When I meet someone I really like, who is open, honest, emotionally available and stable, I am perfectly capable of giving the same. I can be in committed relationships, and have no problem with them at all. But, I do not give commitment to men who are insecure, or who don’t measure up, and neither should you.


Unfortunately, we women are judged for dating multiple men, for breaking social norms and tradition, for living our lives on our own terms. But, the alternative is unacceptable to me. I refuse to accept lesser men (unless they are just an amusement), and I refuse to settle. I keep looking for the one who fits. When I find him, I truly appreciate him and give him the respect he deserves.


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