Traveling Solo: Discover Yourself Instead of Someone Else

Traveling Solo: Discover Yourself Instead of Someone Else.
It is the ultimate test of whether she is independent, fearless, complete. Many women claim to be whole, until they have to do something all by themselves. Faced with the daunting prospect of having to be alone, even for a weekend, they are immediately turned off.


But what exactly is the turn-off here? Having to face oneself? The realization, that she cannot bear the thought of seeing the sights, navigating a foreign city, or having lunch solo? Or is it the feeling of loneliness that overcomes everyone the very first time they wake up alone in unfamiliar surroundings?


Over the years, I have mentored many women through their single life, and can’t count the times a woman has looked me straight in the eye, and declared that she very much is capable, independent and complete. Yet, when I challenge her to check into a B&B for a weekend, she looks at me in horror when I tell her, that she cannot bring a girlfriend.


Yet, traveling solo is exactly the thing that liberates dependent women from fear. And it is that one test that determines whether she is who she claims to be. This test is very telling in who she is in a relationship or a friendship. If she needs people as a crutch, she needs a man for validation, tremendous amounts of attention, and someone to complete her.


Developing the skill of traveling alone is a process of self-discovery. It allows us to learn to appreciate ourselves, instead of someone else. It builds confidence, kills fear, and it is on the opposite spectrum of pathetic loneliness.


I have encountered so many women who believe that traveling alone makes them feel pitiful. What will people think if they see me having dinner alone? They will think you are capable, comfortable in you own skin, self assured. Does anyone ask a man this question?


It is the 21st century. The younger generation of women is fearless, confident, ballsy, and self-aware. Without a man at their side, and without a gaggle of girlfriends, they are learning to rock-climb, they are trekking on foot to Machu Pichu, teaching themselves how to surf, backpacking the country’s national parks. For them, life is an adventure, and who are you as a person, if you can’t face yourself?




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13 Responses to Traveling Solo: Discover Yourself Instead of Someone Else

  1. Pingback: Traveling Solo: Discover Yourself Instead of Someone Else | The S Blog

  2. Wagtailtravel says:

    Love how you write this feeling of solo travel down.
    I’ve already done some travels on my own and really understand what you’re talking about.
    It makes you strong and independent and you start to wonder why your friends are not doing the same thing.


  3. Very good point. I love that you encourage women to do this to test themselves. Spending even just one weekend completely alone has been very enlightening.


  4. I agree about being alone as an experience of self discovery; I never travelled extensively alone but I moved abroad alone (I guess we might call it travel?) and it was the most important thing I ever did. Deciding to do it was the hardest part but once in it, I actually loved being so self-dependent and I felt nothing could stop me


  5. Chantell says:

    A very insightful and personal post. I definitely think that solo travel means something different to each person and that perhaps it isn’t for everyone. I know for me that it makes me feel brave and empowered. I think it is a good experience for everyone to try at least once.


  6. Patricia says:

    I’ve traveled solo, with groups and with a boyfriend, and each experience was different and brought interesting elements to the trip (though traveling with groups has often left me very, very tired). I really haven’t noticed anyone reacting strangely to me when I’ve gone solo — though on my first trip I did notice people giving me larger glasses of wine and even a free dessert, so if that was because they noticed I was alone, they can keep noticing! 🙂


  7. travelerettenyc says:

    I completely agree with this! I am just finishing up my fourth year of solo travel and it has just changed my life. I no longer see myself as someone who is waiting for someone to come around and complete my life. I am living my life right now, with no regrets! It’s an amazing feeling. (Also, no one judges you for eating alone!)


  8. Sierra@TMWY says:

    I really like your points in this! Still waiting for my opportunity to travel solo. You make a good argument for it here.


  9. GlobalMary says:

    I think that traveling along or with someone else is a choice, and there should be no shaming of women who choose to travel with companions. I really don’t think that traveling solo is the only thing that can make a woman strong and independent and help her to know herself.
    For me traveling is a lot about learning, enjoying and sharing. This is why I prefer to travel with someone I love to share my best moments with. This is why I blog too.

    However, I think your article is inspiring for those who are considering traveling solo, but are afraid. Great job!


  10. Funny I stumbled on this article. My travel companion just canceled our upcoming trip. I would have gone alone if he weren’t interested in coming, BUT I would have planned the trip a little differently. So my disappointment comes now from the money I didn’t plan to spend, the longer time away from friends and family, and just not having the experience I had been planning for the last two months.


  11. thesanetravel says:

    Even I am not belonging to the new generation, I feel comfortable taking individual solo trips. Thanks for sharing your feelings about that!


  12. Love this and I love traveling solo!!


  13. Mari says:

    Traveling solo is just plain delicious! Met so many interesting people who are both curious and helpful, full of info about historical sights, local food, secret places, etc. So much learning to b had esp if you try to communicate in a foreign language! Not for the faint of heart but def highly recommend it!


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