Don’t let a man negotiate how you feel about him. He showed you he is an asshole, you think he is an asshole, but he doesn’t like that you think he is an asshole. Guess what, he still is an asshole. The worst thing a woman can do is question her own judgment. And that usually happens when we don’t trust ourselves, or don’t feel confident enough to stand up for our own opinion. Often women are made to feel guilty for being judgmental. I see nothing to feel guilty about. Good judgment is a sign of a sound mind. Often women are shamed for their opinion, or for daring to make a man not feel like a man. Well, if his manhood depends on how others feel about him, he’s got no manhood at all.
Assholes often have like-minded friends, and those friends will often jump to his rescue when they see he needs help to preserve his reputation. Friends will stick up for the nice guy automatically, and gang up on whoever dared to make their friend feel less than. It’s no wonder that most women would back out of their own judgment than face a firing squad of other assholes. If you back off, and change your opinion of him to win the approval of assholes, you are stepping on a grenade. You just showed him that he can be an asshole, and that you will change your mind at the first sign of pressure.
A couple was fighting because he said something that was deeply offensive to her, and he was trying to negotiate her opinion of him. She called him an asshole, a chauvinist, and a pig. He laughed, and argued with her for a minute, then changed his tactic. “Okay, I take back what I said, my apologies”, and with a bit of sweet talking, she said “Okay, you’re not an asshole, even though that comment was absolutely offensive”. Wow girl, did you forget he offended you a minute ago?
Does taking back what he said change what he said? If he is allowed to take back what he said, does that mean that his opinion on the subject is now changed? If he takes back something offensive, does the woman owe it to him to not be offended?
When a man doesn’t like how you perceive him, do you let him bully you into perceiving him more favorably? Do you let him buy you something to show you that he is now a nice guy? Come on ladies, honor your own opinion.
A man will never take you seriously when he sees that your opinion of him can be bought. “Let me buy you lunch to make it up to you.” Does that work on you? Is your price tag higher than lunch? If your opinion of him can be bought with an expensive gift, even a Ferrari, how valuable is your opinion, or your company?
Too many women are quick to change their estimation of men as soon as he shows his displeasure at not being treated like a man. Who handed him his manhood on a silver platter? His mother?
A man is not a man unless you think so. And before you state that, make sure that he has earned his reputation by showing you his character, his opinions, his reputation, his willingness to stand by his word, his respect for your judgment and your opinion by accepting that your opinion of him is valid.
A man of character would expect you to have a negative opinion of him when he has done or said something wrong. He would expect you to stand up to him, state your case logically, then prove with actions that your judgment is non-negotiable. He will expect a woman of strong character to leave.
An asshole or a douche bag will start negotiating how you feel. A man of character will not. Your opinion is valid to him, he will not take back what he said if he can substantiate his opinion, and he will not expect you to take back what you said either. You could accept the fact that you are very different and that you don’t have to date each other, and that’s far more respectable than negotiating with assholes.
If men don’t take you seriously, check yourself. Do you let them tell you how you should feel? Do you let them bully you or buy your opinion with a nice gesture? Do you let their friends gang up on you because they expect you to treat him like a nice guy?
Your opinion is the only one that matters. Standing up for it shows that you have self-respect. Not negotiating her mind away is a mark of a Goddess.
Remember, a man is not a man unless you think so.