Have you ever gone out on a date with someone you didn’t want romantically? Have you ever gone against your intuition? Have you ever allowed someone to twist your arm, or talk you into giving them time, when your intuition was screaming no? How did the date feel? How did it end? How did you feel after you cancelled your feelings and gave your time, attention and energy to someone you felt was not for you?
I bring this up because in the last ten days I spoke with a few women in our private forum who felt awful going on a date. Many of you ladies are intuitive, and can feel the emotions or the state of being in another human. Many of you are a whole lot more intuitive than you think you are, but are ignoring your own intuition. Others feel guilty not giving a chance to those who keep asking us on dates. And many of you, have succumbed to peer pressure- yes, there is peer pressure when it comes to dating. It is when your friends insist that you give a nice guy a chance, tell you that your high standards are unreasonable, that your intuition must be off because they know and like this guy.
A few of you have gone on dates and felt awful being there. Why? It is because you were cheating yourself? You are doing something that your mind and body are screaming NO, and you are negating your intuitive gift and doing the opposite. That is why the date feels like emotional torture.
It is wrong. It is very wrong to disrespect yourself this way. It is very wrong to allow other people’s feelings to dictate how you should feel about someone. It is extremely wrong to allow a man who has used tactics like mild manipulation, guilt or shame to get time with you. and it is wrong for friends to push men on you, or make you feel like you don’t know what is right for you.
But the real reason going on a date with someone you feel isn’t right is wrong is because you are cheating yourself. Have you noticed how contradicting your own feelings makes you feel? Those dates feel like physical, emotional, and mental torture. The guy might even be nice, but it is you who feels absolutely heinous about yourself? Why?
Most women could relate to how awful it would feel to have to get intimate or have sex with someone they find physically, emotionally, or personally unappealing. Every woman knows how disgusting it would feel too have a man forced upon her. So why do we feel guilty when we have to talk ourselves into going on a date, or to give a chance to someone our intuition is telling us is a big NO.? It feels awful because you are much more intuitive than you have allowed yourself to believe, and you are doing something that is repulsive to you. Your friends probably don’t understand why you cannot consider that date.
Honor yourself. You have a heart, a mind, a body and a soul, and you are dishonoring your entire being by not doing what is in your best interest. You would have no problem rejecting a toxic food, staying away from secondhand smoke, nor ingesting poison. Why do you allow yourself to ingest what automatically feels awful to you?
None of your friends know what this guy feels like to you. Most of them have not dated him, nor had to sleep with him. If they knew how your stomach gets twisted into knots at the thought of having to date him, they would never ask you to do that. We all know that “nice” does not qualify a man. Sure he is a great friend to them, but you are the one being asked to consider him in a way they are not.
So what happened when you went on a date, or gave a chance to a guy your intuition was telling you NO? In my experience, it always ended with a giant slap in my own face, and it was always well-deserved. I always felt gross, like I was doing something shitty to myself. Only, like many women, I believed that I am wrong, and that the guy, or the friends who talked me into him were right. I swear, I will never talk a friend into giving a man a chance, when only she knows who feels wrong to her.
For many years I did not believe in intuition. I am a very logical person, with all the logical diplomas that reject something that isn’t scientifically proven. All along, my mind and body were screaming at me, while I was forcing myself to accept people and ideas that felt absolutely wrong to me. And all along, I felt awful about myself. Why can’t I talk to that man? Every ounce of my being rejects him, but every well-meaning friend is telling me that I must be nice and give him consideration. Do people know how gross it feels?
I have stated many times in this forum, that intuitive women should date less, not more. Why? We have a gift. We can sense people, read them, feel them out very quickly. Other women must kiss a thousand frogs to find out much later that there is no prince hiding inside. We can sense that the frog is just a frog, and leave it alone. Some women have to go on a thousand dates, give everyone an equal chance, then feel deflated and spent later, when they put in so much work into getting to know him, when you intuitive ladies already know him. Know you are not wrong. Stop doubting yourself.
Please stop feeling guilty for having to say No. You are absolutely entitled to honoring your intuition, and honoring yourself. If dates feel disgusting to you, it is because you are ignoring red flags only your intuition picks up. Your friends can’t spot that, the guy feels fine to them. He may be within their level of consciousness, he may be on their level of emotional intelligence, he may meet their requirements but what difference does that make, when he is outside of your energetic or emotional range?
Intuitive people are very sensitive to feelings, emotions, and energies of others. I know that science does not support that assertion. That’s fine. You are not a science experiment, you are a conscious being with a gift. The more you ignore that gift, the more you dishonor yourself, and that’s why some dates feel awful to you.
Put your gift to good use, use it in your highest honor. There is nothing wrong with you for not being able to give every male a chance. This is something right. Please read this sentence again, and process it internally. Your inability to give chances to everyone, is your gift. You absolutely should use it to select the right people to surround yourself. You will see that all your relationships will change for the better when you acknowledge the utmost importance of being the most honoring to yourself first.
If you haven’t dated in a while, please don’t think there is something wrong with you. You already know that only some people feel good to you, and that compromising yourself is abusive to your heart and your mind. Trust your intuition.
If you are still doubting your intuition, but believe that your feelings may be right, please work on expanding and allowing your intuition. There are exercises, meditations, practices to help you open yourself up to your higher self.
If you are wondering why you still haven’t met the one, it is because you have still not recognized him. You may still be considering the possibility that you are wrong, you might be doubting your choices, you might still be allowing the toxic to seep into your life. You may be filled with self-doubt, you are not using your gift to see people as they truly are, you might be forcing yourself to consider those your intuition has already rejected. You have a little more ways to go before you fully trust yourself.
Intuitive people date differently, and we select our partners differently. We don’t consider their resume, vital stats, nor how they look on paper. Instead we feel our way into relationships with people who are both right and wrong for us. We don’t need to take a long time to get to know someone, we know how people feel to us right away. I don’t need 3, 6, or 12 months to negotiate a relationship with a male I know right away. I can sense that there is nothing within him that matches what I feel strongly within me. A non-intuitive woman may not realize even a year down the road that he has no feelings, nor that he may not be capable of emoting at all. She will find out later, in a painful way, what an intuitive woman has been able to feel all along. So, why is it wrong then to ignore what you feel, and give people chances to continue to convince you what they need you to believe? Goddess, trust yourself.
As long as I was doubting my intuition, dating felt like torture to me. I was negating my own feelings in favor of other people’s demands for my time. I felt like shit about myself dating men who insisted they were right, but felt totally wrong to me.
I date much less now, and I feel wonderful about that. I no longer give time, energy, consideration nor chances to people who feel wrong. I no longer feel conflicted between what I feel and what other people think is right. I am so in tune with myself, that I no longer entertain males I don’t feel for even 30 seconds. I know myself. I trust myself. That feels very empowering.
I don’t feel guilty trusting only my own instincts. Yes, I have a smart head on my shoulders and I am naturally a very logical person. When my logic tells me No, I believe my own reasoning mind.
What I don’t believe are other people. They can’t possibly know what is right only for me. The most painful regrets I have in life, are making decisions that are in other people’s interest and not mine. Yes, every date I had with a guy who twisted my arm into it felt like torture. Every date I allowed a friend to set me up on, was also awful. Why did I trust my friends more than myself?
Make peace with yourself. You are an intuitive being and you can only do what you feel is right for you. Any input that comes from outside of you, will feel wrong, and rightfully so. Stop feeling like you are doing something wrong. You are doing what many people cannot do for themselves. I am not criticizing non-intuitive women at all. We are all different. It makes no sense to twist an intuitive woman’s arm into ignoring what she feels.
Accept the fact that you will love and date differently than other men and women. That is perfectly okay. If you want to sharpen your intuition, then focus on making yourself 100% reliant on your own senses. My intuition has risen to about 95% mainly because I started trusting my own feelings. The improvements in my personal relationships in all areas of my life are massive. I am surrounded by much better people because I honored my own intuition about them. Sure, I make mistakes. You will too. But, once you know you have overestimated someone, you will not have a problem quickly correcting your mistake, and letting go of people who are not in your highest good. I make no apologies for that. Trust me you won’t either.
Goddess, know yourself, trust yourself, honor yourself.