“I am waiting to see what you deliver”.
I was seeing this guy on and off in the last few years. It was never serious, always causal. We recently reconnected, had a few drinks and without warning he poured his heart out. It all sounded genuine and sincere, unfortunately for him, I’ve been around the block a few times, and I have seen this before. Yes girls, men know how to cry on command to get what they want too. Never fall for crocodile tears. After that chat, he called a few days later and asked “So, do you think we should try again? You don’t seem that thrilled to reconnect”. I said “Your words sounded poetic, I’m waiting to see what you deliver”.
My own words made me realize, why don’t women wait for the delivery before they start believing in the sales pitch? Many of us fall for the sales pitch each and every time, we think we bought a Ferrari until he delivers a used clunker to our doorstep. He talked a good talk, he said all the right things, totally got her hopes up, then he stood on the sidelines, and waited for her to create the relationship by herself, push the relationship forward, while he observed what she is willing to do to get it.
That’s not how things work for a Goddess. We don’t believe in the sales pitch. If he is pretending to be a Ferrari, he better deliver a masterpiece of a relationship into your driveway BEFORE you start building anything with him, BEFORE you invest emotionally, BEFORE you even take him for a test drive. Some men take women for a test drive, and some dimwits willingly go along. And after the test drive, he is nowhere to be found. Why? If you were a car sales woman, would you hand the keys to a Ferrari to someone who doesn’t qualify for it? No, you would qualify the customer before you hand him the keys.
But really, all women should be taking men for a relationship test drive. After all, most men will say anything they think women want to hear, and they will spin tall tales until they get that free test drive. Before you give him anything at all, see what he delivers. If you want a relationship, why not test his relationship skills before you give him anything at all? If you want something long term, or if you want commitment, why not get commitment first before you start committing yourself? We make it too easy on men by letting them earn us just by going through the motions of a few dates. Why not test drive him in a relationship, and demand to see what he delivers in terms of a healthy relationship before you even consider making any effort at all?
Take it from someone who has been around the block a few times. 99.99% of nice guys are not who they claim to be. They may be nice, but they’ve got nothing a real woman wants. The vast majority cannot meet your needs even if they did their absolute best. The smart thing to do is to see what they can actually do, before making any effort at all.
You’ve heard the phrase ‘Show me the money’, well every woman should be asking “Show me the relationship” and taking careful notes about what he delivers, weather his delivery pleases you, weather it is enough for you, could you find someone who could do it better. All those questions should be answered with a crystal clear demonstration, before you enter this relationship at all.
If what you want is a 100% committed relationship, then test him on his commitment. If he is demonstrating that he is 100% committed, then he has no time to test drive any other women. You will know it the minute he goes missing. Why do women give men what they want on the 3rd date, if they have not yet received what they asked for?
You should only be dating what I call the 100%-ers, the men who are 100% ready to demonstrate their genuineness and sincerity. But, please don’t make this the basis for your selection. ALL men will offer 100% commitment up front when you are out of their league, if they can’t get anyone better, if they haven’t much success in dating, if women ignore them, if they are too old to be relevant to women. You do NOT want to select from any of these. If they are not worth any woman’s time, they are not worth yours. So don’t be fooled by commitment. Any old dog will be loyal when no one else is willing to feed him.
You want 100% commitment only from the men you have identified yourself as sleepable, datable, relatable, and qualified to be with you. That is a very small percentage of the population. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to give every guy asking for your attention any time at all. You should spend most of your time NOT dating, but sifting and sorting through the males who are strong candidates. This takes a lot of self-awareness and an understanding of who you are on the inside. You cannot properly assess who complements you unless you know your personal strengths and weaknesses, your emotions, and your own psyche. If you don’t know that, every man will disappoint you.
It does not serve you to date traditionally at all. I will write more on this later, but for now let’s say that rather than going out on dates and seeing who is willing to go through the motions with you, stop dating completely. Instead, spend most of your time getting to know vast circles of men socially. You don’t need a date, what you need are males you have qualified with your own senses, attraction points and desires to merely be in your company. You don’t need dinner and a drink, what you need is to assess how relatable they are, how genuine or phony they are, who they are at their core, how do they relate to other women, what is their m.o.?
You will gather more relevant information about men if you get to know them on a social level without any promise of dating involved. And you can easily filter out 99% of the phonies or people who don’t meet your needs without going through the motion of dating. Traditional dating is exhausting, and by following the blueprint of traditional dating, you will always fall into that trap where you have to deliver the test drive long before he has proven himself as a man. Don’t fall into that trap.
Make your own rules, follow them, honor them, and never apologize for them. Spend years identifying, then sharpening what you want. Never be in a hurry to select a man at all. There is no shortage of men in the universe, you were only taught to believe in the scarcity.
Once you have a pool of sleepable, datable, relatable men, this is the time to see what they can deliver. You can test all of them at the same time, as long as you want, because you are not sleeping with any of them, until they have demonstrated they are adept at healthy relationships. You want them to communicate clearly, show up on time each and every time, be exactly who they claimed to be, demonstrate longevity, prove relatability, show their humanity, vulnerability, a healthy and an open heart and mind. You need to know his dating history and to understand whether he has satisfied any other women at all. If he couldn’t satisfy them, what makes you think he will be enough for you? If he spent most of his dating life running away from women, why do you think he will stop running for you? Yes, that’s a tall order, but these are basic traits of a human you want to give your attention to.
As mentioned earlier, it is very important that you do not select from the lowest common denominator. A lot of men will commit to a 100% up front, because they have run out of options. Contrary to what most males are willing to admit, women aren’t chasing them, no one is demanding to marry them, and they will offer 100% to whoever is willing to give them a chance. Don’t be a bottom feeder, you will regret eating from the floor.
Instead, create your own pool of datable men that you have selected by your own standards. Do NOT allow non-datable men into your clean pool. Not even as a friend. They will quickly piss in your pool. Develop your own dating rules, and screen them long before you go on the first date. You should be test-driving every man’s relationship abilities and measuring his performance. He doesn’t have a date until he has proven he can deliver. There is no reason to hurry, there’s plenty of time to sift and sort through who suits you and who is falling short.
A girl will list herself on Tinder, and show up on a date as soon as he clicks her button. A woman will ask tough questions, and state what she wants clearly. She won’t play games. A Goddess will not validate any man at all. He is either on her level, or he gets no attention at all.