Being a Goddess is costly. The higher she rises, the more respect a Goddess commands, the more uncomfortable some people are around her.  An interesting observation is that my most Goddesslike friends, are the women who totally rule, speak their mind freely, unapologetically, and make no excuses for themselves. These women are the most highly criticized, talked about, rumors are flying everywhere, but when you get to know the actual woman, she is deeply loving, caring, fair, and just. What is it about them that makes some people uncomfortable? It’s not just that some are uncomfortable, I have seen men and women combust in rage, when her light exposes their darkness.

Men know instinctively, she is not to be messed with, and they also know instinctively whether they measure up. That causes some to push her buttons, test her boundaries, play games, just to test if she really is all that. Healthy men see her as an equal whether she dates them or not.  They can respect her as a friend, a co-worker, and can be open and vulnerable with her. They know she doesn’t play games, mess with their emotions, and their feelings are always safe with her.  Unhealthy men, will see if they can break her down, and when they can’t, they project their own insecurities onto her.

Women too are afraid because they see how easily she commands respect from their men. Most women are uncomfortable when the man they are fighting so hard for, bows easily to another woman. The more comfortable the Goddess is with her place, the less she gives a damn what people say. And one thing is for sure, where there is a Goddess, there are disgruntled, insecure, self-righteous critics around her.

It was obvious from the start that a lot of people had a problems with what I was saying about women, relationships, sex, dating and careers from the start. I found my power at a young age, and it always worked for me. The more comfortable I felt in my own skin, and spoke up, the more people had something to say about me, and it wasn’t always flattering.

It was also obvious that my words truly resonated with some, gave them a fresh perspective, and liberated a lot of men and women from relationship rules, traditional gender roles, and freed them from constrictive expectations. My first critics were women, my first fans and supporters were men. What I was suggesting was that women should find their personal power, approach relationships from a place of self-respect and personal pride, and disengage from men who don’t respect them. Rather than wage wars to snag a husband or strive to please a man, why not invest in herself and build some self-esteem instead?

Despite the snickers from a lot of female friends, guess who they came to when they needed a shoulder to cry on? My practical advice worked for many women, not because I believed in playing tricks to get men to respond like a trained dog, but because I understand men as humans who have the same emotional needs as we do. If you can’t approach a relationship with complete respect for the human you are dealing with, and allow him the same consideration you want for yourself, then the problem is you, not him.

I have always had a ton of attention from men, some wanted, but mostly unwanted. For me, men come in two categories, respectful and deeply insecure. Sure, I fascinate a lot of them without even trying. But every man sees me as a shiny object, something to attained, possessed then paraded around town like a trophy, so I say No to most of them. When they are respectful, healthy, self-aware, they are okay with it, and we develop a good friendship. When they can’t handle the rejection, they fabricate fiction with only one kind of conclusion: they are the victor, the real man, too much of a man for me to handle, and I, some four letter word from the back of the dictionary.

As I meet more and more Goddesses from our private network, I see that the more strong and unapologetic they are, the more likely they are to be under attack. There are stories and rumors about all of us. Somehow we manage to steal men who we aren’t even trying to get, and bruise egos of guys who take rejection as an opportunity to show who’s the man. The less we engage with drama, attention-seekers, and cat-fights, and the more we become comfortable speaking our truth, the more respect we get from our equals. Some people have a problem with that.

Inadvertently I get a lot of respect from men females are competing for. I view them as a platonic friend, nothing more, someone to exchange ideas with. Most of them like the way I think, and whether they agree or disagree, they like the fact that I always stand my ground, back up my ideas with facts, and never bend my position to please them. While the girls are swarming around him like flies on shit, I own his attention. The harder they try, the less I care.  While they are stalking his social media profile, trying to figure out what party he will show up at next, the fuller my inbox is with requests for a drink or a chat. This isn’t because I am trying to steal someone’s man, it is because I am not trying at all.

But, this ability to connect genuinely with everyone comes at a price. Like I said, I see men as humans, not some prize to attain. While most women approach men with an agenda, I see all as a potential friend. If I like his mind and how it operates, I’ll make him a friend in 30 seconds or less. I am rarely, in fact, almost never interested in anything more. People like me because I discover quickly who they are on the inside, and I connect to that aspect of a human without a plan on how to hook him into wanting more. I don’t believe in hooking, manipulating, or obligating humans, and that is the main reason men are comfortable around me.  I have no plan for them at all.

But if you are a woman in need of a boyfriend, and you have your eyes set on one whose attention I’ve got, it will be hard to divert his attention to you. It is fascinating, how many of my friends I have helped connect to people. I love introducing people, I consider myself a Cupid, and I credit myself with a lot of happy connections. But, any time a woman can’t get attention from a man, I am always blamed for it. One year, I lost 30 members from my social network in a week, simply because someone’s boyfriend was trying to talk to me a little too persistently.

Be prepared, once you learn how to command respect, you will be met with an equal amount of attacks. Respect is a power, and probably the only privilege you have to earn from another person.  Once you have earned someone’s positive attention and respect, a noble person or a Goddess will treasure and protect it.  I stand up for all my friends. The ones whom I can truly count on, can also count on me to be a lion when they are under attack.

But when you have that much power you are a threat to all the people who have not earned your good graces. Most men and women who haven’t attained that level of self-possession will be threatened by it. The women know I can raise an army of men in the blink of an eye. And the men know that as much as I value their friendship, I can afford to lose them. Once you have exposed your emptiness, insecurity, or disrespect, I have no reason to keep you.

So, the attackers come in two sexes, the women who can’t compete, and the men who cannot have me. Both spun tales that have cost me friendships, business, and relationships. I have too much pride to whine about it in public. If you hurt me, I will let you. I never consider revenge. Revenge is for amateurs.

I used to hide my pain, when girlfriends fabricated a story, then formed coalitions against me. The same girls who cried on my shoulder for years, wanted nothing to do with me when their men started reading and agreeing with TheGoddessPrinciples blog, or when they simply wanted to be my platonic friend. The men who couldn’t have me, started their own fiction, you know that story, when the guy concludes he was too much of a man for me, and I, every four letter word in the dictionary.

Last week, I was at a business networking event, when I saw an old friend in the crowd. I walked up to her, gave her a warm hug, congratulated her on her new baby, and the woman froze. She could not look me in the eye, stared at me nervously, replied curtly, so I walked away as I had better things to do.  When I got home, I noticed she unfriended me from Facebook, as did 25 others in that professional network. Hmm…Did I steal someone’s man again? I can’t imagine whom. A little digging and I realized she had the baby with a guy I met 7 years ago. He asked me out 6 times, but I politely declined multiple times. He later offered me a job in his company, but I felt creepy working for him- somehow I felt the offer was just a different approach to own me.  Who knows what he must have told her, or what the reason for the suddent coldness was. It could just as easily be something else. I really don’t care.

Today I don’t hurt, I smile. When rumors fly, I know I am doing something right. When there is a new story about me, I don’t even bother to find out what it is, and I certainly don’t cry anymore. I either attained something another woman had been stalking for years, or I said no to a man whose ego couldn’t handle it.

All Goddesses have been there, suffered through it, and learned to take those bricks thrown at them and build them into castles. But don’t worry, our castles aren’t empty. We have simply learned to sift and filter better. Rather than open the doors to anyone knocking, we only let a few exceptional people in. There are 350,000 members in my social network, 4000 digital social media friends, 45 people I can call on for solid advice or when I need real results, and 1 small handful of people I can truly count on as a friend. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I couldn’t afford to take good care of that many people anyway.

The best advice I can give you is to take your time and learn how to sift. You don’t owe your respect to anyone who hasn’t bothered to earn it. Nor do you owe anyone an apology. Sharpen your intuition, and learn to sniff out the fakers- they are usually in it to get something. They’ll come to you with an ailment and see you as a remedy. They’ll come when in need, then walk when they’re satisfied. Observe. Who are they loyal to? Who is their God?  Most fakes insist on loyalty, in fact they will demand it well before they have demonstrated their worthiness. Most mortals don’t have the dignity to keep their own word. They will flake out with a sweet smile, then call you a friend. Just watch detached, and sooner or later, you’ll develop an instinct for people.

Keep your castle clean. It’s better to have only a few worthy friends, than a house full of charlatans.  The more solid humans you have in your life, the more powerful you are, even if you can count them on one hand. And when your enemies start throwing bricks at you, don’t throw them back at them. Keep the bricks, treasure them, then build a taller tower.

S