Silence is a NO

Posted on September 12, 2025 by Travel Clubs International

Silence is a NO. An unanswered question is a no. A changed subject is a no. And no always means no. This is not an invitation to start working on it to eventually get to a yes. No means no.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but most likely it is that woman who is not aware of herself, nor of her own behavior. Perhaps, you still haven’t learned how to respect people’s boundaries, or you still feel insecure when other people don’t give to you. Perhaps you are offended by not being included, annoyed they didn’t give you the green light, anxious that they never invited you, so you keep trying to clarify their silence. Maybe they forgot about me? A gentle reminder that I still expect an invitation can’t hurt, right? A simple nudge, hey can I have a key to your home, can I borrow your favorite item, can I go with you on vacation, can I come to this meeting?

Many women profess to be conscious and self-aware. However, consciousness begins with the self. You first develop awareness of your inner self, all your failings, your neediness, your void. That awareness helps you understand what still needs to be filled by you.

So, an inability to accept silence as a No, shows a lack of awareness of your own neediness or insecurity. Somehow that silence or non-communication leads you to push and prod and make other people feel uncomfortable until they let you in. Are you aware that other people are silent because they don’t want to hurt your feelings? And now that you pushed your way in, how do you think they feel about you? If you are aware, you should be able to answer this question.

What’s the harm? You just turned off a potential friend, a man who may have been interested in you, or a coworker. You just signaled that person to put their guard up, and the higher their guard, the more you will have a problem with it.

Silence is a no. Can’t accept that? Here’s an example you might understand. Have you ever been in a situation with a man who was pushing, insisting, crossing boundaries, yet you felt uncomfortable blatantly rejecting him? Maybe he was a coworker or a boss and you didn’t want to cause a scene. Maybe he was a drunk friend looking at you like you could make him feel good. Or a friend’s husband who was highly inappropriate, but you don’t want to lose that friend so you put up with him. Every woman understands how difficult it is to say no sometimes, and every woman knows what it is like to be taken advantage of. We have all heard stories from courtrooms where someone claims “She never said no” and we all understood how hard it is for a victim to prove she has been violated anyway.

When you refuse to take silence as a no, you are violating friends, men, coworkers. You are ignoring silence because it makes you feel dissatisfied. But getting to yes without someone’s interest is a violation of their personal space, boundaries, emotional or physical. And your interpreting silence to imply that you are invited, included, wanted, needed, is a huge red flag to people. They might reluctantly let you in, but you just gave them a good reason not to like you.

What should you do instead? Process your dissatisfaction, your anxiety, your discomfort. Your feelings are entirely on you. People are not being mean, they are protecting themselves.

We all love to blame men who don’t want to give you the relationship you thought you should get. But, when you start pushing a situation forward, and he is just going through the motions without actively communicating his interest, he is probably not interested. The more you lead him to where you want the relationship to go, the less he seems to engage. “What can I do to get him to communicate, engage, want me”? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. You actually can’t get people to like you or want you. That’s manipulation. You have to leave it to them to decide, because this is entirely their decision.

But there are harsher consequences to forcing relationships with men, than with girlfriends. Men are capable of still using you, while your girlfriends are more likely to stay silent and detach. Men view your inviting yourself to their house, inviting yourself to dinner as you offering yourself to them on a silver platter. They see your forward movements as you giving yourself away for free. Most men think “if it’s free it’s for me”, and why wouldn’t they take what you are offering? You invited yourself over when he never invited you. Who’s going to pay the price for refusing to accept silence? You. All the pain of that consequence will be on you.

People who reject you are not mean, they are not bad. They are protecting their boundaries. It is your perception that is off. If you can’t recognize people’s right to put up a wall, to stay silent or disengage, you’re the one with the problem.

But what if they said yes? What if your persistence made them feel so uncomfortable that they said yes just to keep the peace. Is that better for you? If you are non-conscious and not self-aware, you might say yes, because any yes is better than rejection. You probably don’t care they feel uncomfortable. “Who cares if they didn’t invite me, I scored a seat at their table. ” That’s how inconsiderate, selfish people think.

If your persistence eventually leads to that invitation or to a reluctant yes, what kind of a relationship are you getting from that person who never said yes? I guarantee that you will eventually squeeze the life out of that relationship.

If the pain or silent rejection is yours to feel, then it is your responsibility to heal. Silent people are not the problem. Your refusal to take silence or non-engagement as an answer is. You are basically taking non-consensual situations and barging into people’s lives, work projects and romantic relationships, and wondering what is wrong with people when they eventually put up an impenetrable wall.

Have you ever walked past a beggar on the street? In my city, there are many. There are beggars who are grateful and will bless you for any gift you give them. Giving to them feels good. And then there are beggars who will harass you, curse you, scream obscenities and follow you down the street. Which beggar will you open your wallet to? The one who is harassing, demanding, and refusing to take no for an answer is the one people run away from. I don’t blame them.

But the same token, when you refuse to allow people their silence, and when you refuse to acknowledge that they feel uncomfortable with your forward moves, you are going to lose a lot of friends, lovers and job opportunities.

You claim you want genuine relationships. But you are not allowing people to express themselves nor how they feel about you. Silence may be exactly how they feel. No, may be a very accurate description of their boundaries. You are ignoring genuine expressions and twisting their arms into compliance is you refusing what is genuine and demanding they accommodate your delusion. What do you get when you succeed in getting that reluctant invitation? A reluctant participant who actually never wanted you in their space. Let’s see how long that relationship lasts.

I repeat. Silence is a No, and No always means No. People are being nice when they don’t acknowledge your request, because if they openly said No your feelings would get hurt and you would blame that on them too. Nobody owes you an invitation, nobody owes you a seat in their meeting, nobody owes you space in their home, and nobody owes you space in their life. Any invitation you manipulate was never an invitation at all, and any relationship you force your way into was never consensual.

S

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How To Make Toxic People Hate You

Posted on August 26, 2025 by Travel Clubs International

The discomfort toxic people feel when you choose your peace, shows them they have no control over you. They were hoping you’d fall for their push and pull, they hoped they could get you to chase, but you didn’t. You switched the power button off. Now who’s in control?

People who are extreme agitators know exactly who they are. Don’t be fooled by their “sincere” apologies later. They tried to agitate you to get a reaction. You were meant to be triggered into chasing, asking “why”, looking for an explanation for their confusing behavior. Please don’t take the bait. As soon as you take a step forward, they will either pull back immediately (if they are diabolical) or welcome you with open arms to talk about it, only to slam the door in your face just as you have submitted.

They are not unaware of what they’re doing. They are intentional antagonists. They are usually the only miserable one in the room, and the less you care, the more they have to create conflict to get you to feel alive.

They seemed so normal when you first met them. You thought you had chemistry. They were mirroring you, showing you it is safe to step forward. Perhaps for a while things went well. That’s because you were giving them what they want: attention, validation, kindness, support. As long as you were feeding them with your energy, they were happy. And then YOU disappointed them. Maybe you turned your attention elsewhere. Maybe you saw through the mask. Maybe you started to feel the inequity of this relationship. Or maybe, you just needed a break. And that’s when their mask cracked.

When toxic people aren’t getting fed, they start to feel very uncomfortable. How will they get your energy back? They actually have no effective relationship skills. Remember, you became open to them and stepped forward into that relationship. They probably didn’t have to do anything to earn you, they just had to act the way you are acting. You entered this situation when they matched your energy, when they mirrored you. You thought you had chemistry. But what is chemistry? It’s that inexplicable, intoxicating, high that makes all people feel something. Chemistry is not based on anything real, it’s just a feeling someone can stir inside you.

And now this person you thought was nice, positive, healthy is stirring the pot trying to bait you back into their life. If you are unhealed, you might mistake this unhealthy tactic as a genuine apology. “But he is trying! This is just his/her way of trying to re-engage with me”. But, if you are emotionally stable and healed, you will see that stirring the pot, creating little conflicts, trying to incite a reaction, or bait you back into their life is a toxic trait. Now is not the time to get emotional and run back with open arms. Now is the time to watch. This is when a person shows you who they truly are.

This is also a good opportunity to observe yourself. How you react to this tells you a lot about whether you are healed, whether you are self-respectful, whether you are emotionally regulated, and whether you are truly self-possessed and in peace.

I always say that the toxic people in our lives serve a greater purpose. They are here to show us who we are. Am I the sort of person who can still be triggered, am I the type who will chase, do I fall apart when someone else controls my emotions? If I do, then I am not healed either. They are my indicators of the work I still have to do on myself.

I personally do not take the bait. I’ve been through that with countless men and friends to learn the hard way, that how other people treat me is proof of who they are. I am good at maintaining my peace while the toxic create a circus. I never participate in their performance. Instead, I watch them helplessly trying to draw me into their show.

When a toxic person sees that you are still, unaffected, they also become painfully aware that you see through them. And that hurts, that really hurts. Because while they are acting out, your stillness bothers them. They see their own performance, but no one in their theater is clapping. The silence is deafening. That’s because that silence is your peace, and it is stronger that their performance.

Now what? They have no game. Without a game to play or people to play with, that toxic person is miserable. Who is giving them feedback about who they truly are? The silence, the emptiness, their own hollow self.

If you are wondering how to get toxic people out of your life, my advice is to never fight them head on. Never “work on the relationship”, because the more you work, the more you give, and the more they feed. Notice how toxic people never get better? They never do any real work on themselves, but they feast when they see you trying. You feed their empty soul with all your work.

To get toxic people out of your life, you first must heal yourself. Unless you are truly a master of your own energy, of your own behavior and your own emotions, they will always have the upper hand, and an open invitation to you. Your relationships with others will never be better until you are better. The universe will always bring you more toxic people to show you where you are still weak and unhealed.

But, toxic people run away from people who see through them, people who cannot be bothered with them. They cannot stand those who stand in their own power while they attempt to take control. They particularly can’t tolerate anyone who points the mirror at them, and forces them to see their own soul. If you can mirror their emptiness, their powerlessness, their imbalance, they will absolutely hate your guts. Without your participation, they have no identity, no self, no energy, no traction, no power over themselves at all.

But your response to their hate is how you know you have truly mastered yourself. Toxic people will create a sh*t show, and try their best to discredit you or control other people’s opinion of you. If they can manage to get other people to see you as the problem, at least they have some control over others. At least somebody believes in their mask. Don’t worry. If you are a weak woman, you might fall apart wondering how you can get others to believe you. But if you are self-mastered, you won’t care. My opinion of myself is solid and I feel good about not letting them cross boundaries, and I feel good about not having the unstable in my life. I’m always proud when I let them go.

When toxic people try to throw mud in my face, I let them. Why? So others can see who is actually throwing the mud. Now everybody’s eyes are open.

If you are trying to improve your relationships with others, your only job is to work on yourself. There is nothing you can do to change others, and you will waste years of your life only to realize you accomplished nothing. Years later, you will still be unhealed, and those pesky others will still be in your life. But, if you grow, strengthen your boundaries, learn to speak up, hold up that mirror to allow them to see their own demons, treat yourself well, there is nothing toxic people can do to you. They’ll move onto an easier target.

You will become unlikable, and you won’t care.

S

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I Make You Uncomfortable-I’m Okay With Your Discomfort

Posted on July 27, 2025 by Travel Clubs International

Do you make people uncomfortable? If you are a woman who respects herself, has invested in her growth, has succeeded at anything at all, gets more attention, chances are high that have ruffled some feathers. If you identify as a true empath, someone who can feel the feelings of others, then you can sense when people’s emotions stir when you stand in your power, bask in your light, or receive the words of your hard work. How dare she?

How dare she be so happy? How dare she be so confident? How dare she hold her head up so high? How dare she lead? How dare she revel in her own energy? Who does she think she is?

She should pace herself, she should slow down, she shouldn’t always be in the spotlight, she should be more humble, she should let others. She needs a man.

Is that you? How long have you listened or felt other people’s feelings of you? How long have you felt guilty for receiving the fruits of your own labor? How long have you felt there is something wrong with you, because others are so critical of you? How long have you tried to make jealous friends comfortable with you? How long have you tried to make your self so small that men feel safe and non threatened by you? Every woman has experienced the consequence of being bigger than a man, They will destroy you, so they can feel bigger than you. Friends will do the same, and act like it was all in your best interest.

I have been experiencing this since I was born. Since I was a young girl, my father felt threatened by me. He was a narcissist from a different culture, tried hard to dominate our household, and being an empath I could always feel his insecurities about my mother who received more respect and attention, insecurities of other men because he never felt as successful, and later his insecurities toward me. I was that girl who always talked back, spoke my unapologetic truth to a man who came from a country where girls should be quiet, soft, obedient. Not me, I rubbed my truth in his face, refused to soften myself, and always called him out when he took his insecurities out on my mother, and blamed her for his failures.

As a kid I believed him when he said there was something wrong with me. He insisted I should feel ashamed of my words. that I should bow down to him, that I should be obedient, that I should be shy as his culture raised all girls to be. He told me I am offensive, that I am nothing, but no matter how hard he tried to crush me, I could always feel that he is threatened by me. No matter what he did, I always called him out, pulled his narcissistic mask off, exposed him in front of people who believed in him. Today, I understand that I wasn’t that devil child. I was not nothing, in fact I was someone to be reckoned with, My very existence threatened his narcissistic mask.

Later, I married a narcissist and started a new cycle of trying to make him feel equal, pushing him forward, giving him my spotlight, investing in his progress, and as long as I was pouring into him, his ego was exploding with false pride, I tried to be softer, non-threatening, and every time I succeeded at something, I deferred to his success. I created a monster simply by believing in his false self. As long as I stayed smaller than him, he was in love. But the minute I exceeded him, he sought to destroy me.

But this is not just about gender relations. Post divorce, I made new friends, my career skyrocketed, I started a small side business which got a lot of attention, and ran several organizations on the east coast. I joined non-profit boards and quickly got elected as president. I won a contract for my small business that got so much attention, it rattled so many male and female feathers. How dare she? She shouldn’t be doing so much.

Why was I doing all this? Because I was free. I didn’t even know what I wanted, I was just grateful for every opportunity that came my way, and accepted it out of pure joy. I wasn’t trying to make anyone jealous or uncomfortable, I was trying to find myself and explore all my possibilities.

I made so many friends, that I simply did not have the time to be bored nor lonely. But I quickly started to see that despite my openness and welcoming people to share in my spotlight, I was making frienemies- friends who wanted the spotlight but not me in it. They were eager to benefit from everything my friendship offered, but were uncomfortable when I received the praise, the social status, and even more opportunities. As long as I was giving, they were taking, but more so, pushing me out of the way. Those friends who I opened many doors for were exactly the ones who spoke behind my back and tried to discredit me.

Because of my position within a social organization, I had access to a dating pool so large, I never had to date online or on any apps. So most of my relationships came from my vast network of social contacts. There wasn’t a man who was comfortable with my position. They all tried to take over under the guise of “helping me out”, tried to diminish me, discredit me, Not one of them had any problem enjoying my spotlight, they did have a problem with me being in it too. As long as I was with a man, I was pushed to feel smaller, softer, discredited, controlled, manipulated, but when I walked away, his spotlight disappeared so he would chase me for more.

Do you create your own light? Do you have your own connection with a higher power that needs no direction from any institution, religion, or guidance? Can you read people like I do? Can you feel their feelings, and suffer because the people who have the biggest problem with you are people you care for the most? Then you know what it is like to be hated for every crumb you earn, be bullied because you shine brighter, be manipulated to feel smaller. Perhaps you don’t feel powerful at all, yet you still incite the wrath of others every time you refuse to conform to their low perceptions of themselves. How dare you be better than me? Imagine going through school and always earning A+, but not being able to collect your degree because other kids didn’t pass.

There came a point in my life when I was done apologizing. In reality I am not a great success. I am quite unmotivated, have low to no ambition, I have no drive. I am always happy with whatever I have, extremely grateful, and for that I have received many blessings that i was always willing to share with friends. I gave freely, only to have my hands bitten off. And I felt bad, just as bad as they wanted me to feel.

When you have your own ability to create your own energy and your own light, you need nothing from others. I have always been good on my own. But when you have that power, people will always want it for themselves, or seek to benefit from you. I have no problem sharing my energy, but today I only do so with select people. Because one of the worst things that you could do is be non-discerning and refuse to use your senses to understand who people are before you start giving.

The other thing that I did was stop shrinking. I stopped apologizing for who I am. I stopped giving a damn what people think of me. I stopped caring what some jealous wretch is doing behind my back. I stopped reacting to attacks. I decided to become comfortable making people uncomfortable.

When people are uncomfortable with you, that discomfort is evidence of their own weakness of insecurity. It is the proof that you need that this person is not equal. They do not match my energy level, they do not match my vibration, they do not match my generosity, they do not match my hard work. They are in my life to bask in my glow, but their discomfort is a sign of how they feel about me. This is nothing to apologize for.

The biggest mistake you can make is to try to make them feel more comfortable. The minute you try to temper their jealousy, is the minute you start to lower your own vibration and dim your own light. That comes at a tremendous cost to your own emotional and mental health. Now that you have dimmed your light just enough to make them feel equal, they will take over whatever you are not protecting.

I have had trusted friends turn on me, I have had men romance me just to access my clients. Every person I helped spat in my face when I ran out of energy. Were these authentic friendships and relationships? Were they worth diminishing myself for? Not a single one.

Quit wasting your time making people feel comfortable with you. You are you, and whatever you have, and the woman you became, you earned it. To this day I don’t see what makes people so uncomfortable with me, because I don’t think I do that much. That is because they are the ones with the problem. Leave people to their own egos, let them stew in their own toxicity. You can only continue to shine, appreciate, love, experience and create your own world.

The other danger of making people comfortable is that you will always attract people who are weaker, smaller, more insecure and more toxic. Remember, you are an A+ You earned that. If you continue to make people comfortable you will always be surrounded by friends and lovers who are a C, and you will pay a heavy price with your own energy. If you want better for yourself you have to stop apologizing, and start dealing with people who are equal. Your true friends, and your best lovers are people who have done the hard work, invested in themselves and are totally comfortable with you shining bright in the light you created for yourself.

I wanted better friends. I wanted people who are honest, truthful, of high integrity. I was wondering why I was meeting takers, wanters, critics, apologists, needers, manipulators, controllers, But it was my fault. I was making them comfortable. Instead of noticing they hate me, I was trying to reduce their rage by making them feel comfortable around me. “That’s okay devil, come sit by me, and I won’t burn you with my light, There’s no need to feel uncomfortable with me, because I can make myself so soft and so small, that you’ll feel like a big deal enjoying the fruits of my labor, my social status, my friends, my attention, and everything else I earned. You see, I am not bigger than you at all!”. I was making every miserable scoundrel feel comfortable with me, and wondering at the same time why they are trying so hard to destroy me. Why are they taking everything I’ve got, why are they trashing my name, why are they stealing? But I was trying to make trash feel comfortable with me.

Other people’s discomfort isn’t a bad thing. It feels bad to an empath (I hate that word) because we feel their feelings. We feel their jealousy, their rage, their ire, and we want to stop them for feeling that because their feelings hurt us too. Discomfort is an indicator. Try to see their ill feelings as a sign that something is wrong. With them, not you. Their rage is an emotion produced within their mind and body. Therefore they are the sole owners of that rage. Not you. The fact that that horrible feeling originates and resides within them is proof that they are the source of it, and that they are the one and true owner of that toxicity. Let them sit with that.

What do I do when I feel their discomfort? Today, I see their ill feelings as an indicator on my dashboard. That red light that triggers a warning is a sign that something is wrong. It flashes to let me know to pay attention, pull over, disconnect, detach and remove myself from the source of that breakdown. Bad energy infects whoever is in it’s presence. Do I want to accept their rage and absorb it? A fake empath might see no problem with simply dealing with people’s ire. A true empath knows how to deflect, detach, disconnect and block that energy. You are not my friend, you are jealous of me. You don’t love me, you benefit from me. You don’t respect me, you tarnish my reputation. Game over buddy. I will not make you feel comfortable with me.

People can’t grow if you keep making them feel comfortable with you. Why should they grow if you are okay with their insecurities? If someone let me into the C-suite of Fortune 500 company, what reason would I have to excel, educate myself, and earn a seat in its boardroom? People don’t have to grow when there are women who are making them comfortable with their size.

Discomfort isn’t a bad thing. It’s often a sign that someone whose energy is very different than yours is in your presence. There is a wolf in sheep’s clothing masquerading as your friend. A kind face of a smitten lover who is in love with what you bring to the table. A true empath knows when a person’s vessel doesn’t match the feelings emanating outward, or when the words love and light coming out of someone’s mouth are spewing out as rage and darkness.

I’ve learned that when I speak honestly, powerfully or show up authentically, it always makes people uncomfortable. And I’m okay with that. Not because I enjoy pushing buttons, but because real conversations, real change, and real self-awareness don’t happen in other people’s comfort zones. If my presence or perspective stirs something in you, that’s not me being too much, it’s you not being enough. That’s on you. It is your job to do the inner work, face your own darkness, educate and qualify to be with people who are healed, trustworthy, successful if you want them in your life. It isn’t not my job to make you feel comfortable because that would stroke your ego, and make our relationship inequitable and toxic.

Being comfortable with other people’s opinion of you is a super power. It means that no matter what they say, or what they do, you will always remain unbothered. This allows you to grow unhindered, move forward without fear of losing people who don’t like you anyway. Stop wasting time diminishing yourself for people who don’t like your confidence, position, ambition, authenticity, your fame or your fortune. I’m sure you earned it. Allow people to deal with their own emotions, let them have tantrums, make sure their negative emotions don’t stick to you, by letting people leave your table.

My table is now for my equals. There are people who have earned their spot here, and I assure you they have nothing bad to say about me. You’ll recognize them when you see how they reciprocate with value, not just words. You keep rising, keep growing, and stop apologizing. It is okay to be on top. Practice standing there, assume the power posture, get comfortable with your position. It is you who got you there. Instead of giving your power away, deal with people who are your true equals.

S

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How To Suffer Powerfully And Gain From It Exponentially

Posted on April 17, 2025 by Travel Clubs International

Do you know how to suffer? Have you ever suffered so much, that you found bliss in your experience? Have you ever experienced so much pain that you either found meaning in that excruciating feeling or allowed the pain to take over your entire being as if it nothing, thus realizing your own power to dissolve it? Have you ever welcomed anguish knowing full well that the only power it has is to heal you instead? Have you ever experienced such extreme loss that you found growth and abundance in the experience? If not, then you haven’t suffered to your full potential.

Did you know that suffering can lead to enlightenment? In eastern thought, suffering is something to learn from. The lesson is within that pain and that energy. Buddha suffered for many years, starved, then released himself from suffering through meditation, observation, acceptance and understanding. His enlightenment then healed masses. In western thought, suffering is in some cultures perceived as martyrdom, self-sacrifice, and some believe that eventually that will lead to recognition, validation or some sort of reward for being “good”. Where I come from, many women suffer through mistreatment thinking that somehow their sacrifices will be rewarded. I disagree, and I believe that was was really being thought by spiritual leaders was also how to free oneself from suffering, turn pain into love, turn spiritual, mental, emotional and physical pain into your own personal power.

Regardless of how we were brought up, I have found tremendous value in suffering. There were several extremely painful periods in my life, and looking back no matter how agonizing they were at the time, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything. Each experience was worth it’s weight in gold in terms of knowledge, power, and self-mastery. I am truly grateful to have suffered. I mean that sincerely, I have nothing but gratitude for my suffering because it has always lead to something life-altering, and much greater than I ever had before. Each time I found a different sort of power that I never knew I possessed. Decades later, I see personal gain in every one of those experiences, whether that be knowledge, wisdom, expansion of awareness, or something physically evident like money, success, opportunities, experiences and love.

I see how my suffering has triggered certain people. I receive all kinds of hateful comments from people who have spat vile accusations and ill wishes upon me for sharing my experience. And here I would like to warn anyone who is experiencing pain that I can’t heal you, nor am making statements meant to influence you in any way. How you deal with your own experiences is entirely up to you. You don’t have to understand me, believe anything I say, and you most certainly are welcome to find your own way. In fact, I strongly encourage it. My posts are for those who are on a similar life path to mine and are looking to explore themselves and their inner worlds because they see that there is something special within.

Everybody suffers. There is no such thing as a human being who has not experienced suffering. We all talk about childhood traumas,how they affect our beliefs our choices and our personal growth. Some of us are aware of that growth, while others are still processing those energies. By the time we reach spiritual adulthood, which happens for all of us at a different chronological age, we become aware of how some people suffer and use that pain and agony to inflict it on others, while others develop empathy, understanding and create personal success from exactly the same levels of pain.

An example that I always bring up is a celebrity who has openly talked about her childhood traumas and hardships. Oprah has spoken many times about how those excruciating experiences have lead to her path of forgiveness, letting go, and eventual success. There are countless other people who have turned pain into healing for themselves and others. And then there are others who managed to turn lack and misery into success and abundance for themselves and others.

There are two directions we can go, and it is always 100% an individual choice. Some people turn towards the light while others turn towards darkness. Some turn misery into gold, while others share their misery and inflict it upon others. We are all born with free will. Self determination is an inalienable right in our physical existence and spiritually. So pain and suffering can determine our path in life, but we are never victims of it, we are always the choosers of our destiny.

I know so many people who firmly believe in their right to take from others. Whether they are stealing blessings, inflicting negative energy, sabotaging their progress, draining their power or sucking the physical life out of others, these people cannot accept responsibility for their own healing journey nor can they accept consequences of their own actions. Psychologists have a diagnosis for them, but on a spiritual level, these people dwell in density, darkness, misery and they desperately compensate for their own ill feelings by controlling the outcomes of others.

Those of us who chose a healing journey have already turned our backs on the past, its traumas and following an entirely different path towards joy, happiness, understanding, appreciation for how the universe works. Some are actually seeing value in those past traumas that are now giving us a higher level of understanding, and allowing us to play with our own energies to release pressure, clear blockages, feel our way out of mental prisons. Each time I have moved away from a physical or emotional pain, I realized that I did it with my own free will, but also from an understanding I gained from observation of myself while feeling the pain.

Observation is a powerful tool that helped me gain an understanding of myself as well as the cause of my pain. It also helped me shift away from that energy by allowing me to see that I am not pain and that pain is not me. I am a being experiencing pain, that I wallow in it as long as I want, and that I can choose to separate from it once I have processed and understood it. I don’t have to carry pain like a burden on my back for the rest of my life. Instead I seek understanding. One of the most powerful realizations i had was when I understood my own role in experiencing this pain. It was not inflicted upon me and I was not some innocent victim who suffered. I received it because I didn’t know that I don’t have to. I absorbed it because I didn’t know that I can move out of it’s way. But once pain had rooted itself firmly inside my body, I decided that rather that fight against it hysterically, I can study it. Why do I hurt? I realized that the real reason I was hurting wasn’t the pain itself, but the fact that I hurt myself by accepting and receiving it when I could have said no thanks, your vile actions have no effect on me at all. By wallowing in it, I was making myself miserable, by releasing it I knew I was better than that pain.

So how to observe and study your pain? You can do this in meditation, or you can do this as you are in a light sleep. The point is to be alone, relaxed, and allow the pain to be felt. Mentally, move your thoughts down towards that part of your body where you feel it. You might feel it in your throat, your heart, your solar plexus or elsewhere. Even physical pain like a broken bone has meaning, so allow it, move your mind towards it, observe it from the outside, then move your mind within the energy of pain.

At first, you will feel resistance and be very uncomfortable. You might find your mind not wanting to enter that dense space. Don’t force it, but stay in a state of allowing, then observe it from the outside gently, and keep getting closer. Without pushing your mind to do anything, allow your mind to receive the feeling of that pain. Never try to interpret using your intellect. Instead allow your mind to feel the pain, and like an antenna it will receive a clear understandable signal.

One of my earliest experiences reading my energy was decades ago, when I was feeling into my asthma, my suffocation and that constriction of the airways most asthmatics recognize. As I sat there meditating on my lungs, I realized that this suffocation was not a lifelong part of me. At a certain point in my late twenties I developed the condition. Why? What was going on in my life back then? When was the absolute first time I became aware of my lungs suffocating me? I remembered the day clearly. I was a newlywed , and my ex was talking me into doing something that I did not want to do. It would please him, but not me. I grew up with a fear of animals, and my ex was insisting on buying an exotic cat. I was uncomfortable with this, I can’t believe that I didn’t have the strength to just say no, instead I believed that I have to do this for him. or at least he was trying to make me believe this. Today’s version of me would never do something I was being manipulated into. But back then I did feel manipulated, I also felt like I was losing control of my own life, and I was secretly resentful of being told by him and his family that I needed to do this as a supportive partner. I was ignoring my own needs for safety, free will, self-determination, this choice was not right for me, but I chose his needs over mine. Within 15 minutes of entering a breeder’s home, I started to cough, then suffocate, then experience my first asthma attack. I lived on steroids and inhalers for the next 15 years. Even though we did not buy that cat, eventually my ex continued to insist, and we adopted two kittens from a shelter years later, once again ignoring my asthma, and my own discomfort with animals. (Btw, I turned my fear into love for animals).

So who was to blame for this? One could say that it was my selfish, narcissistic ex, but that wouldn’t be how a intuitive being who has mastered herself sees it. It was I. I cheated myself when I put aside my own needs to please someone else. I did not defend myself, thereby I allowed myself to be overruled. How did that feel? Like I was in a jail cell with walls closing in on me. That relationship felt like an ever constricting prison of my ex exerting his selfish wants and needs on me, his parents encouraging it, while my parents encouraged me to be a dutiful wife. There was no me in this relationship. No wonder my lungs felt like a jail cell whose walls were closing in. My lungs were acting out physically the way I felt emotionally. I was in an emotional prison, all the while I was the one refusing to fight for my own well being.

But, back to my meditation. As I experienced the feeling of asthma, and that recollection of when I first felt it years ago, there came a sudden understanding of how and why I developed asthma. I started it when I was feeling suffocated by a relationship, and eventually my body followed with a physical constriction of its airways. Years later wen I learned to control my organs, I learned that my organs do as I feel. So to reverse a condition, all I had to do is clear my feeling. It is not as simple as I just described, so please don’t scream at me in the comments that I am advising you to ignore medical advice and meditate your way out of a serious condition. I am not. But a meditation on a pain gave me an understanding of how I created it, and taking full responsibility for my own creation, I understood that I can also uncreate it by following the same steps. I have not had a single asthma attack since 2012.

Aside from medical conditions, I have had a lifetime of emotional pain and trauma. Healing these did require a lot of meditation, but this is something that I enjoy. At a certain point in life, I experienced severe depression. I wrote about how I found my own way out of it in a previous post The Power of Acceptance and My Path out of Depression, so I won’t recount the experience here. Depression is an energy of mental anguish, it is more of an emotional pain, but that too can be understood, accepted, and released through observation, feeling into it and developing a high level of understanding for the self. That was probably the most painful experience of my life, but the process of working my way through my darkness, facing who I am, accepting all my ugly, had the greatest impact on my self-development. Once I was out of depression, I felt all-powerful. It was a tremendous release of dense energy, a shift from darkness into light, but most of all that surge of power was something I earned, and I was immensely proud of myself. In that moment I realized my own ability to heal myself, to release what was not for me, to move out of a negative mental state into a positive one, to lead myself toward a healthier place, to choose how I feel. When I realized that it is I who creates my own experience, it is I who chooses how I feel, it is I who creates my own health and well being, it is I who determines my own fate, I felt a surge of power- from that moment on, nobody ever had any sort of power over me. I leave relationships quickly and easily, I don’t suffer for people, I don’t tolerate crossed boundaries or disrespect, I don’t associate with spiritual vermin, I determine my own value and release whatever emotional junk people try to inflict on me. I found power in suffering.

That said, most people will suffer multiple times in their lives. And if you find any value in it, each time it happens you will gain more. As I progress through life, I see that now I am better able to handle greater challenges. Each time I wish it wasn’t another round of emotional and spiritual growth, but as you rise, so will the challenges. The process is similar to reaching higher levels of a video game. As you master the simpler challenges, you acquire greater spiritual and emotional tools, the greater depths you start to explore, the stronger the energies you face. I look back at my challenges from 7 years ago, and I see that while some made me spiral down into darkness, they also taught me to develop self mastery. I don’t regret those experiences at all.

Knowing that you can move past pain whether it be physical, mental, emotional or energetic is a super-power. It is a blessing and it adds value to your entire being. It is certainly not for everyone, and I totally understand those who are in a different place on their path, where this sounds like spiritual mumbo jumbo. This guidance is not for you.

However, if you are interested in exploring pain to learn from suffering, I advise you to relax and allow it. As you feel a terrifying experience approach you, know that it is not you, and that you are choosing how to perceive it. Recently I had another powerful yet negative emotional experience, but this time I knew that I will handle it better and master myself through it. The first step is to allow it. Never fight against an energy, never resist it, try to suppress it, ignore it or crush it. Allow it. Set an intention that you will allow yourself to experience as much of it as you can, that you will stay in it as long as you choose and that you can separate from it or take breaks from it, then return to process it from a different angle when you feel better. You don’t have to swallow the pain entirely, nor succumb to it, you can observe it as it approaches you. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with that experience. Emotions are natural, they are teachers, they cannot hurt you if you allow them, they can only hurt you if you suppress them. Allow yourself to feel everything in its entirety. It helps to set a suffering limit or threshold, so that you don’t become it, or become addicted to it. Give yourself a period of time to sit with it. If you are mourning the loss of a loved one, there is an appropriate level of emotional suffering that is right for you. If it is the end of an important stage of your life, it is normal to hurt, but but it is also healthy to seek relief as soon as you are ready. Give yourself a time limit, and if that time isn’t enough, you can always resume your session with yourself later. By going back and forth, in or out of pain and observing yourself, you see that you are the power that decides whether to suffer or not. If you have work to do or a deadline, you may need to put your pain aside and work on it later. Remember, you don’t sit in a therapy session forever or all at once, you keep coming back to it each week, and later on as needed.

As you allow yourself to suffer, you see that suffering is just an energy you allow, and the longer you sit with it, process the various feelings, the less resistance you feel toward suffering. It isn’t your enemy. Eventually you realize it is your teacher, so you start to talk to it, asking questions, questioning your own participation. How have I chosen this, what steps did I take to create it? Once I realized that every toxic relationship I blamed on others, was chosen and pursued by me. I wanted it, I craved it, I lusted after it, the hunger was within me, and the inadequacy that lead me to chase it was mine as well. So why is the other person to blame for my involvement? As soon as I saw myself as I approached relationships, I learned never to step forward when a hunger is pulling me towards its toxicity. Another time I learned that my suffering a loss wasn’t about the object I lost, that wasn’t important to me it all. I was suffering because my ego wanted to win. I didn’t actually need that, I was on an ego trip so I craved it. And then there are more traumatic sufferings which showed me how I create my own personal hell with my own mind, bad choices and battling my own negative energies. Remember, never fight them, observe, then move energy into the direction you want to go. Now I am committed to my own personal bliss that I create every day. Aside from observing pain mindfully, you can also watch it with your own eyes. Watch your thoughts. You have heard that phrase many times. What you watch disappears. No, this is not a quick fix to make pain disappear. But watching yourself, as you experience a situation allows you to dissolve the situation by choosing how much energy you want to apply to it. Watching myself as I grow angry at somebody who can’t help being who they are, keeps me in check and accountable for how I feel, Sometimes I rage within, and it is nobody’s fault but my own trigger. Watching myself as I seethe in rage, makes that rage subside. What a lunatic I am. I still get triggered by that one thing. But what a power it is to be able to extinguish rage by laughing at myself.

A bit of advice that I would like to share is that each human experiences many traumas and many types of attacks, challenges and winding paths. How you deal with it is entirely up to you. Whether you need professional help, spiritual advice or feel the need to explore your own emotional depths, all methods of healing have their place and only you can choose what is right for you. Some people seek life, understanding, self-knowledge, while others have no desire to become anything other than who they are, and that’s fine. You can’t blame a student for not wanting to pursue a college degree, or choose a major. So, you can’t push people who do not want to suffer to learn from it. Sometimes it is easier to do nothing at all, and blame others for whatever you don’t have. The world is full of those who project their own misery onto others, We all have the right to step out of their way, or block whatever they choose to inflict on us. That is a power too. To let people be in whatever density they have chosen for themselves, and not participate on levels that are far behind you is a choice. Moving away from whoever or whatever you have evolved from is a great choice. The further you go, the more challenges you encounter. The more painful they are, the faster you learn to dissolve and surpass that.

Whatever didn’t kill me has only made me stronger. Today I laugh, yes I laugh hysterically at how hard lower entities try to siphon our energies, how desperately they cling onto the past, how mindlessly they bark at anything that triggers them, how ruthlessly they try to dim our light knowing very well they survive on the that same light. The further you go, the less these bothersome entities are a threat. Keep going. Go within. Find pleasure within yourself. Tap into your own light. Work with your own energies. Overcome and move past things. dissolve situations pulling your energy out of them. Focus your own attention and thoughts onto yourself. Find the God within. Talk to her. Let her inspire you to try new things. Learn to create with your own energy. All that power comes from not being afraid of pain and exploring your own suffering. If you knew that pain would lead to finding gold, would you seek to numb it, or would you embrace the abundance you found within?

S

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The Loneliness Epidemic: A New Perspective

Posted on January 18, 2025 by Travel Clubs International

The loneliness epidemic. I hear that a lot of people are lonely these days, so lonely in fact, that now the news and media are calling it an epidemic. It seems that there are so many people who are feeling disconnected and shut out, but I don’t understand why. I sympathize, but my own love for solitude, me time, and introspection has actually benefited me. I choose and I absolutely need time to restore myself, but also to protect myself from the crazy, the dissatisfied, the dramatic, the chaotic, the imbalanced people who don’t have their own inner peace.

While I was once happy to share my peace with you in tiny amounts, and was happy to advise you how to get it for yourselves, none of you who are not peaceful seem to be interested in the long, arduous process of self-reflection, inner work, therapy, meditation, nor even reading a book about self-help. No, you don’t need that. You just need access to live people. At the risk of sounding insensitive,I am wondering if those who are lonely are exactly the ones the peaceful and content people are protecting themselves from?

A lot of this is being blamed on social media, cell phones, and people who are finding happiness elsewhere. Some are complaining that they can’t get attention because most people have their nose glued to their cell phone. I too am a proud cell phone scroller. I assure you, there is nothing in my cell phone that is so engrossing, but when my nose is glued to it, it is because I am busy avoiding eye contact with exactly those people who think I owe it to them. Yes, an inanimate object has more to offer me in terms of engagement and entertainment than the person demanding access to me, so I’d rather scroll down to the year 2015 on my feed than lock eyes with their dissatisfied face.

When I look at my group of friends, I see that about half of them are being selective with their company, doing a lot of inner work, upgrading their experiences, developing themselves and creating a beautiful life, while the other half is wondering where they all went. And the lonely half insists that it is not them, its other people who are to blame: they are selfish, they are delusional, they are this, they are that. They are calling the peaceful all kinds of names, they are wanting legislation, something must be done about this because this loneliness is not fair. What are we supposed to do now?

Do you remember that kid from the playground who wanted your toys, stepped on your sandcastle, made you eat sand, told everybody not to play with you? They are grownups now who think somebody left them, it was all unfair, somebody misunderstood them, nobody gave them a chance, and whatever they had somebody stole from them. They approach you with what do you bring to my table? My answer is always nothing. absolutely nothing. But they try to sit at my table anyway, and when I won’t give them anything, they throw a fit. My suspicion is that those are the people who are lonely.

I understand that people have busier lives than ever before. I have a full time job, I take care of an elderly parent, I run an organization, I am building a small business. I read a book a week, I meditate daily, I walk in nature, and I am blessed with some amazing friends. I’m not bragging, I am telling you that I invested in myself, became the person others can respect, and I do have tremendous value that I don’t share with you. you see, True value is like gold, you don’t give it away to anyone who wants it. Value is like currency, and my I spend 15 minutes in gratitude daily for all the juicy people who are bursting with positive energy, love, kindness, and generosity toward me. That is where my attention goes when I am ignoring you. You won’t get to have people like these in your life when you ask ‘What do you bring to my table?’ I am 100% committed to giving empty people nothing.

Loneliness is not an epidemic, it is karma, a direct consequence of what you brought to the tables of people who once were in your lives. It is also a consequence of not working on your own flaws, your own shadow, not releasing your past traumas, and thinking you will still have good people in your life.

I used to be without anything too. I lost everything, There was a period of time I had absolutely nothing. I don’t write much about that period of my life because I am rich beyond belief in ways that money cannot buy. I am blessed with soulful and generous friends, I have real, authentic relationships, I give freely to people who give freely to me and that exchange is beautiful. But like everyone else who is walking away from empty, superficial, toxic, exploitative situations, I am just tired. I’m sorry I have nothing left to give to the lonely, the hollow, the soulless, the opportunistic, the draining, the egotistical, the depthless.

As a devout introvert, I spend long periods of time by myself. There are times when I have no opportunity to see people for weeks. Am I lonely? Never. Why? Because even without my people I still enjoy my own company. Lonely people don’t enjoy that. They feel uneasy, dissatisfied, alone, stressed in their own company. If you don’t like your own company, how can other people like it? If you can’t stand being by yourself, how can other people stand you? How much company you have is directly correlated to how much peace, joy, encouragement and genuine love you bring into other people’s lives? Whose table did you bring that too?

Yes, the world is changing. The digital age allows all of us to unplug, delete, block, swipe left and disappear. And while you all blame it on the delete button, I assure you the problem is not technology. This is just a tool we use to get back to reality. The real problem is those who have the problem and refuse to admit it.

S

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Do You Know How To Be Intimate?

Posted on October 24, 2024 by Travel Clubs International

What is intimacy? Have you felt it genuinely? How do we know when we have actual intimacy in a relationship? How often do women think they have intimacy when their partner doesn’t even know what that means?

My theory about why we no longer have relationships is because men and women have lost the ability to deeply connect on a level that can develop into a genuine bond. People simply do not know how to create a bond, instead both genders simply go about applying various techniques to push and prod partners into creating some sort of an irrevocable situation that the other person cannot easily unbind from. When people feel satisfied with the degree of entanglement, they call that a relationship. ‘You can’t leave me because you signed a contract.’ ‘You can’t cheat because I control your money,’ ‘You can’t be friends with the opposite sex because I am uncomfortable therefore you have to stop in order to prolong this connection’.

When I talk to people and ask questions about their relationships, it is absolutely mind blowing about how many men haven’t a clue what genuine intimacy feels like, and how many women who are sure they have it are merely entangled with a partner who is moving along relationship milestones meeting expectations. And because the relationship is moving forward, and both are satisfied with it’s progression, they are confident in their level of intimacy. This is all well and good until the connection falls apart. One partner cannot handle an aspect of this situation, the other has met a more enticing prospect and the situationship dissolves while usually the woman was so sure of the deep intimacy she thinks she experienced. She very well may have felt it, but if you look at our relationship histories as an education, most of what our generation has experienced has been in the post sexual revolution era when intimacy was not even on the menu.

Most members of the Goddess Principles private forum were born in the late 20th century, and the youngest ones in the early 21st century, When we discuss relationships I see that we all started dating after the invention of the birth control pill, that we all read Cosmopolitan magazine, and we were all taught that sex is mainly recreational and that its main purpose is fun. But asking women who have been dating 20, 30 or 40+ years about their actual experiences, they generally express disappointment in the physical performance of their partners, disenchantment with the relationship, even the value of marriage. Apparently, those who were married didn’t feel that the intimacy was genuine, and in general marriage was more of a utility than an emotional bond. It served its purpose to procreate and build a foundation, but it fell apart due to exhaustion, emotional labor, dissatisfying sex and lack of a genuine connection.

When we talk about relationships of previous generations, they really weren’t intimate at all. For both my parents and grandparents marriage was a duty, a contractual obligation, but their foundation was built on intimacy that later turned into work. However, their relationships lasted because neither party could afford to leave, divorce was humiliating, and single women had no place in society. Yet, when I ask people of that generation how they felt about marriage and dating, they all say that dating felt special because just holding hands or stealing that first kiss was the ultimate experience. My grandmother used to gush how she felt when she first laid eyes on my grandfather. My mom also remembers her earliest dating experiences with dad fondly. They would talk until 2 am, she would run to pick up the phone, they would go out on actual dates that felt special. She describes those experiences as if they were ultimate. Dating was something special people used to look forward to. Sure, mom’s and grandma’s marriages turned into labor and draining emotional work. Despite that, each woman remembers dating and developing intimacy with great fondness. It was an actual thrill to fall in love, and everything about the process was a discovery about the other person.

So where did we go wrong? Why are we so dissatisfied with dating and meeting people today? From my personal perspective, I stopped dating because I felt that the entire experience is toxic. I wanted nothing to do with meeting strangers, the process of getting to know someone, talking via emoji, digital mind games, stroking the egos of infantile men, the usual harassment, gaslighting, social media exposure, and dealing with people who don’t have a connection to themselves, so how the hell could they bond to another person? Many men revealed they are into porn, It is not unusual for a woman to hear about a person’s sexual fantasies on the first date, receive dick pics before exchanging phone numbers, and be presented with a list of fetishes before the check arrives. Dating has turned into a marketplace of sexual fetishes, tolerance of perversions, digital abuse. Dealing with men who are hell bent on proving to the whole world they can score you but are not willing to do anything to actually talk is absolutely disgusting. I never judge anyone who drops out of the dating game. I always think highly and have more respect for women who want nothing to do with that.

It’s not that people today don’t want to have intimacy, it’s that we don’t even know what that is. Most people have never experienced genuine closeness, instead they have experienced contractual bondage and manipulation into never leaving. Sure, most of us have met partners of low emotional intelligence who can’t describe their feelings in more than two syllables. They truly don’t know how they feel, instead they act out like a child when an emotion makes them feel like stomping their foot or punching a hole in the wall to express dissatisfaction.

But also media and culture have taught us that dating is about casual sex, that it should be easily accessible, that it should be fun or at least that we should all act like hooking up is so fulfilling. At least that’s what a hook up looks like on TV. But when I speak with actual women, they describe everything from STDs, violence, degradation, gaslighting, feeling like trash. Is sex today really special? Nope. One of the reasons I dropped out of dating is that it sex is not worth the effort. And a modern relationship isn’t worth the effort either. How would anyone relate to an mental midget?

We are a generation raised on ’12 Proven Techniques on How to Drive Him Wild in Bed’, ‘Dating for Dummies’ and “Sex in the City’. Like automatons we go through situationships pushing buttons of random partners trying to figure out what will make them tick. Nothing works, she still won’t put out on the third date? Nothing is wrong with his manhood, she must be traded in for a more responsive model. Watch him run through his roster to see which candidate is the most likely to show up at his apartment at 1 am. That nameless candidate more qualified than the one who won’t say yes.

Relationships have de-evolved below the level of humanity. Even animals put more thought and effort into attracting a partner than we do. Even animals are more selective, yes even animals have higher standards of who they will interact with. Some people are so incapable of emotion and bonding that they resort to pushing buttons and turning cogs to see if they can get a better outcome out of human interaction. Intimacy? What is that?

How the f*ck can people build intimacy when they are meeting each other online? Every incel and dolt has a winning profile, a catchy caption and hundreds of social media pics to prove they really are whoever they claim. If you are smart it takes one date to see through the facade, if you’re stupid you might catch and STD before you find out your dream man is an unemployed hobo who just needs to crash for the night. We are incapable of building intimacy because the tools we are given like dating apps, social media profiles, filters, AI, privacy services cover up who we really are, and display only what we want potential suitors to see. Are we real? If we think its OK to smooth out a wrinkle and take 10 lbs off our figure with a filter, why are we so surprised when he pays someone to delete a felony or lists a fake job on LinkedIn?

Most people today have no clue if they have an actual bond with someone, instead they have to ask. A bond feels warm and fuzzy to me, yet a bond feels mind numbing to you, so we have to check in with each other. When I ask people to explain how to bond with someone, they list me a bunch of techniques. Really? We now need to develop effective communication strategies to understand when we actually have a bond with a human being? No wonder your relationship didn’t last, you forgot to schedule periodic check ins with your partner to find out where they’re at in this situation?

We don’t have intimacy because we don’t even know who the other person is before we start working on them. Don’t believe me? I recently quizzed a dozen of my friends whom I have known for 10 years. Only one knew my last name. Only one knew my full given name. My FB name is just a screen name. Can I claim that I have a true friend among people who claim to be devoted and loyal to me, some even say they love me, but they don’t know my real name. Should we call this intimate, or a genuine bond? Why not, we have drinks every Friday.

I remember years ago, that some good friends of mine were trying to save their marriage so they went into counseling. Of course part of the program was to build intimacy with each other because apparently they forgot to do that before they procreated. Within a year she had a prescription to 1) make her headaches go away and 2) a drug to calm her nerves so that she doesn’t express so much anger and instability toward him. He on the other hand got referred to a psychiatrist for a proper diagnosis. What it took for these two to stay married are some tranquilizers and mental help. This made me realize, if it takes a prescription and horse tranquilizers to numb our senses and tolerate each other, why are we together? If the goal is to stretch the time span, and stay married as long as humanly possible, at least as long as our parents were married (because love is only real if you can make it past a milestone) then how is this a genuine relationship or true love? What are we doing? Even a marriage counselor could not eek intimacy out of them so they resorted to chemical inducement of what vaguely resembles a connection. Congratulations, you are married for 20 years!

The whole relationship thing is F*ed up. None of us know what intimacy is because since I was born, sex has been a sport and a score. Dates are a way to measure our validity as human beings, Women were raised on this idiotic belief that marriage was the ultimate reward only to feel duped years later when they realize no aspect of marriage added up to a sense of accomplishment nor validation.

I vote for a long time-out from all relationships. The more people I meet who have stopped dating, and started exploring themselves, the more satisfaction I see when people find intimacy within themselves. That is not to say that eventually we won’t find intimacy in relationships again, but no one can learn what that is, until they are able to emotionally connect to themselves. If you have a soul and are capable of emoting, you will get there. I guarantee that you will find intimacy. And if you are dead inside, vacant or empty, you will find creative ways to transact with people of equal emotional intelligence. It is our dating culture that has tricked us into speed dating, relationship algorithms, digital profiles and social media scoring that has turned all of us into relationship dolts. I want no intimacy from strangers, I’m feeling healthier than ever since I cut off access to random, unqualified men.

Perhaps if we take a long break from dating, we will become more genuine people. We might find other things to do besides angling for casual sex or a a fetish to help us scratch an itch. Some of us will connect to nature, pick up a hobby, learn to speak to people in full sentences. I suggest taking a course in social graces and learning how to speak respectfully to a human being. I recommend therapy for both men and women. We have all experienced traumas simply from dealing with each other in transactional, impersonal, methodical short texts designed to elicit a response and we have forgotten how to read eyes, how to feel emotions, how to understand our own value. We are too busy asking people what they bring to the table, without realizing we may be just a crumb that has no business being on a clean table. I find that with out society’s current level of emotional intelligence most people have no business being in a relationship at all. If that’s you, that’s fine. Relating may not be for you at all. Go be in a transactional situation or a contractual obligation if that floats your boat. You’ll never know what’s right for you if you don’t know how to be intimate with your own heart and mind.

S

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How To Know You Are Winning

Posted on October 2, 2024 by Travel Clubs International

No one will ever tell you that you are winning in life, so how would you know when you are really moving and shaking?

If you were just average, if you managed to blend right in with the crowd, if your opinions did not excite or rock people’s boats, would you have people who are trying to bring you down, knock you off your pedestal, humble you, see you fail? No you wouldn’t. You would be a threat to no one and no one would have a problem with you. Since you have strong opinions, because you think freely and since your word matters, you most certainly threaten somebody. Egos are weak, and many people will feel threatened if you start moving in the fast lane. Therefore, the number one sign that you are doing very well in life is that you have haters. I have never met a successful woman who did not have somebody throwing rocks at her. They do not exist. Therefore, if they are throwing rocks, don’t bat an eyelash. Winners don’t need revenge, just climb up that podium and accept your medal. Take a bow and wave, give them a smile. You are pissing them off and loving life!! That hurts the hater more than any rock.

Do you help others? Truly successful people love propelling others forward. Some of the best people I know, want others to succeed. In fact, they are not threatened by sharing knowledge, giving good advice, connecting, sharing opportunities. The more you love helping others, the more influence you have. And the more influence you have, the more people will try to discredit you. Too smart? They will try to make you look stupid. Got an award? They will tell you not to let it go to your head. Giving away trade secrets, money, or opportunities, they will tell everyone you have a selfish motive. Don’t worry, you are doing something right. Jealous people can’t stand how much others love and appreciate what you’re doing. Once again, do nothing. Never take to heart whatever they say about you, and never miss the people who have been swayed by their badmouthing. Just keep giving your best to others. You’ll be appreciated even more by better people.

Think for yourself, and don’t get swayed by manipulators or controllers? Oh, you are difficult! You are too independent, too aggressive, too opinionated, and all that is not healthy for you. You are guaranteed to get “well meaning” advice from those whose opinions please the sheep, who know how to stroke egos, because they don’t like it when women like you are too brilliant. Why do you need the spotlight so much? You must need to be center of attention.

What’s wrong with that? While you are shining, they’re miserable in your shadow. They sure think it is not good for you, you better dim your light just a little so that everyone feels comfortable around you. You know you have made it, when people are threatened by what you have to say. Of course, discrediting you is a must, how else would they ever feel secure? So, you know you are changing the world when you are saying exactly what you think, people appreciate you for who you are, and others have a problem with that. My advice to you is let them have a problem with that. The interesting thing is, the more they have a problem with you, the more they’ll keep talking. The more they keep talking, the more they discredit themselves. Pretty soon, people will just tune them out. Trust me, when people have the most horrible things to say about you, you are standing on the apex so you better plant your flag right there, and don’t apologize.

If you are the type who is always learning, always bettering herself, always upgrading, always marching forward, you will always be outgrowing the crowd and you will have to let go. Letting go is a power that threatens insecure people. Being able to walk away from disrespect, stale relationships, small minds, toxic situations threatens those who thrive in those situations. In fact, when people first start to connect to you, they will test to see how strong is your bond to them. Make sure you show them right away that you don’t intend to be bound by them, that you don’t plan to stay long, so later when they try to trip you over or control you from leaving, you don’t feel the weight of their obligations. The most powerful women can leave, and this is probably the most threatening trait a woman can have. But, people who are going somewhere in life will never stay in one spot. It is impossible. People’s whose minds are constantly growing, cannot possibly fit into the same social structures. That would be mind-numbing. People who have plans, are taking steps toward a better future, always have better places to be. So plan ahead. There will be chaos when you are ready to fly, so make sure you have enough passion and fuel in your tank to take off. Sayonara, arrivederci, goodbye! Of course you will be the bitch. Just accept it.

You’re authentic. You are living in your truth. You are vulnerable, and totally comfortable in your own skin. You love your flaws, you love life! You must be fake! Nobody could possibly be that confident, joyous, or open. You now threaten everyone who is not that. If you have that life- energy that makes your eyes sparkle, if you have light people will be absolutely belligerent. Nothing in this world can survive without light or energy. And you are the source of that. Everybody needs that, especially empty people. Empty people are the most likely to need you and resent you at the same time. They can’t gratefully appreciate you, they can’t reciprocate positively, nor add anything to your life. And that hurts their ego. The ego can’t admit that you got the juice, that you are the one they need, so they will control, manipulate or try to trigger you into pouring into them. You give your energy away freely when you can, but no, that is not enough. You make people’s egos hurt just with your presence. How they wish you’d just disappear, but how they can’t stand life without your light.

Whatever you’ve got, whatever you have earned, whatever you achieve, somebody will have a problem with it. It will be an even bigger problem when you don’t bow down, you don’t apologize, you don’t let them siphon from you. They will call you selfish, a gold digger, a fake. Let them. Your job isn’t to let them tap into you, your job is to line up with more authentic people. Genuine people have got the juice too. They also have appreciation for who you are, they admire you standing in your truth, they are not so easily threatened by your light. They can generate their own energy too. Healthy people will teach you how to protect your energy, they will honor your boundaries, they will respect the respectable. You don’t have to worry about who will like you, you only have to keep searching for authenticity in people. When you elevate, when you truly expand your consciousness, when you graduate, you will want to be among your peers.

Never underestimate the value of good quality people. They are rarely the most popular, the most beautiful, the skinniest, the fashionable nor the cool. Real people emit an energy and you will recognize them and value them. They will teach you, they will encourage you, they will give you sound advice, because authentic people don’t just add some value to your life, they are the value. Look for them. Instead of chasing people, needing opinions, following sheep, trying to fit in, spend your time cultivating authentic relationships with people who are full of life, joy, energy, wisdom. They are the ones who matter.

As soon as you recognize them, the others will cease to be real, and they will feel it.

The moral of the story is that you know you are doing something right in life when other people start trashing your reputation, throwing rocks at you and trying to stop you. If you allow yourself to listen to their opinions of you, they will succeed in bringing you down. Don’t negotiate with emotional terrorists. Never stoop down to anyone’s level, just keep marching forward. Take a breather, fix yourself some hot tea, and try again in the morning.

S

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How to Win a Mind Game?

Posted on September 4, 2024 by Travel Clubs International

How to win a mind game? Before I tell you how to win, I want to point out that people who play mind games are toxic. If someone withholds their attention and is making you feel like you need to jump through hoops to win them over, they are showing you a big red flag. I am going to be painfully blunt here, you’re f*cking stupid to play their game. In fact, willingness to play the game shows that you are on an equally low level of emotional intelligence, and that you probably won’t be able to take responsibility for drawing yourself into the game. Think twice before you engage with some who is clearly showing you their mind.

A mind game is just emotional manipulation. They may be sick, but if you are willing to be emotionally manipulated just to get close, you are the same. Like attracts like. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I want to drive this point clear.

  1. So, how do you win? The simple answer is don’t play. By refusing to play, you are maintaining all the power. Remain disengaged, and you remain 100% in control of yourself. Give them a tiny opportunity to talk to you, and you are giving them an opportunity to tighten the noose, up the ante, impose a new threat, and find a new angle to manipulate your emotions. Without your participation, the mind gamer remains impotent. They can’t win without your participation. You are letting them play all by themselves, which shows that even the most sinister attempts to get you attention still leave them alone.
  2. Allow them to corner themselves into a situation they cannot back out of. Mind gamers are weak and powerless people They play games to feed their egos, feed their insecurities and it all depends on getting your attention. By all means, if you think a relationship with a mind gamer is for you, jump right in. Pretty soon you will lose your mind. But, when you make no moves at all, they keep making new moves just to provoke you. While they are moving, they are walking themselves into a labyrinth they created for you to get lost in, and pretty soon they will fall into the trap they set up for you. All you have to do to win a mind game is absolutely nothing.

An example would be a guy who suddenly stops communication. Rather than get upset, understand that this is a tactic to get you to engage harder. He takes a step back in order to get you to take two steps forward. He becomes cold, so that you would pursue him. The more you pursue, the more you invest in your own mental and emotional imbalance. Now that you are invested and are still not getting a return on your emotional investment, you feel like you are going crazy. Hahaha, the sinister fool knows his strategy is working. And then, in a last ditch effort because at this point you have nothing to lose, you make an overt display of emotion, you chase, you cry, you throw yourself at him, meanwhile everything you say and do is feeding his ego. You willingly fall into his trap, because the only way for you to continue this situation is for you to submit to his sick ego.

But a woman who is emotionally intelligent, can spot a sicko a mile away. The minute he pulls back, she closes the door. Mind gamers are starving for attention, so they will continue to increase your level of discomfort just to provoke you. They may not realize that your door is sealed shut, because they are so obsessed with themselves and their own labyrinth.

3. When you allow the mind gamer to play themselves, you are allowing them to show you who they truly are. If you are objectively observing them, your realization of how sick they truly are will be enough for you to not reopen that door. Mind gamers are seeking toxic attention, they want to win at all cost. They don’t want to earn your respect, your trust, your friendship, instead they want to win. Because their egos are so hungry, it may take them a long time to realize that they lost you. The thought is unacceptable, surely you’d be desperate for them that you will start to chase soon. Most are so wrapped up in their own delusions, they will not accept the reality that they lost any chance to be with you. So, don’t be surprised if they create chaos, drama and declare war as soon as they realize they cannot touch you. When they look to see who is giving them attention, who is chasing them, who is yearning for them, there is no one.

Mind gamers are so empty they literally have to push people’s emotional buttons to elicit a response, and then they measure their own worth by how you express your emotions for them, or how hard you play to get them. Make sure that absolutely no action is taken on your part. You don’t budge. Put on your headphones and start dancing to drown out the noise as they start accusing you of whatever they can think of.

4. The key to letting any toxic person go is in you not needing them. Remember, they are scheming to get your attention, and the only way they can get it is if you actually need them. And some women really do need the toxic people in their lives.

Healthy women do need people, we just don’t need the unhealthy ones. Of course we all need nourishment and healthy food, but when a mind gamer or someone who is being passive aggressive waves some candy in front of our faces we don’t jump up and try to catch it. When they wave a new scheme, a new expression of fake love, a new opportunity for you to participate, the door is already closed. We are not hungry for junk food, or for junk people, so no response from us. That leaves the mind gamer alone with his own emptiness. Once again they have destroyed another relationship. But this is all good for you, because you managed to keep your mind clean.

Mind gamers, manipulators and passive aggressives habitually sabotage their own relationships. They subconsciously already know that people will leave them, there is already plenty of evidence of that. So in order to prove that you are unreliable, untrustworthy, and also likely to leave, they play games in order to fulfill their own prophecy. They never realize that it is they who are imbalanced, unreliable and cannot even trust themselves.

When you lose a manipulator from your life, you have lost nothing at all. You may have lost some rotten fruit, a toxic person, a con, but you did not lose a real friend.

The only goal of the mind gamer is to get you to play. They love to watch you dance to their tune. So the simple act of engaging is enough for the mind gamer to win. Any time somebody tries to draw you into a mind game, or is trying to engage via passive aggression, it is a trap. I am warning you not to take a step forward because you will step on a grenade they laid out for you. Back away, and be grateful they showed you on time who they really are. You just saved your own life.

S

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How to Become Unfuckwithable

Posted on August 20, 2024 by Travel Clubs International

Want power? Power is internal.

If you are looking for your power in the external world or outside yourself you will never find it. In fact, I guarantee that any external power you think you’ve got will only be an illusion. External power is based on control, manipulation and acting or pretending. Those characteristics are a sign of powerlessness, insecurity, ego, fakery. In fact, aren’t we all trying to free ourselves from such draining, low-value relationships?

Your internal world is the seat of your power. It is your consciousness, your mind, your ability to observe, your ability to effectively adjust to your reality, your ability to balance your emotions, understand others, shift focus, re-frame your mind. Your mind, heart and soul are how you face others, dissolve conflict, transmute energy, create a new you. How many people have found that?

It is my observation that the most powerful women in the world are balanced, they possess an inner strength, they are self-aware, wise, emotionally stable, conscious, empathetic, fearless, undaunted, sovereign, healed. None of these characteristics can be obtained from external sources, they are a sign that she has spent a lifetime working on her inner self. Women who fake or act out these characteristics are always tested, and they often fail right away to convince others that they are leaders, self possessed, unfuckwithable.

Ask any spiritual master- power is within. Ask any martial arts practitioner, strength is within. Ask any positive or effective world leader, power is a state of being.

My advice to all women is to make inner growth, healing and self-awareness a top priority in your lives. Everything else will fall into place easily once you have mastered yourself. You are the only problem in your life, and changing and growing yourself is the ultimate solution. For that you need a willingness to be alone, and an eagerness to study yourself.. The most painful part of this journey is facing your shadow, your suppressed memories, emotions, and aspects of the self we have found unacceptable.

It is a painful process, and some people are programmed to run away from pain. However, facing your darkest fears and emotions is the ultimate power. Imagine how fearless you feel once you have faced the unacceptable. After you accept and release, there is nothing more to fear about life nor others. Now you have power.

Don’t fool yourself into thinking that power can be obtained by flirting, seducing, attracting, strategizing, outmaneuvering somebody. That is just manipulation which does not work on emotionally intelligent people. It is fleeting and eventually you will lose your grip because it is just an illusion. In fact, if they too are base and underdeveloped, they can only do the same to you. And this is something that all relationships based on low to no consciousness act out via control, chasing, manipulation, complaining, lack or struggle. It’s all drama, and there is no value whatsoever in participation if you are truly as conscious as you think you are.

The second advice I have for you is to work on yourself all alone. I am not saying that if you have ,a psychological problem you shouldn’t see a professional. I am saying that your internal world can only be faced alone, and developed all by yourself. If you have issues, disorders, and illnesses by all means get external help. But, to find your inner power, you have to do the work all by yourself.

Third, here is advice that I tell everyone who is trying to meditate or go within. Resist the temptation to read or study meditation. Why? In order to truly get into the meditative state, you must drop your intellect and you must silence your mind. Studying uses your intellect, and if you are trying to emulate what some spiritual master has achieved in his own head, you will not be able to do the same in your mind. Your mind and your path is unique to you. Studying meditation or any subjects like your soul, will only cause your mind to continue working, questioning, analyzing, and you will not be able to shut it off. What’s worse you might distract yourself with the intellectual pursuit which will force you to focus on yourself from an external vantage point.

You can only do this work alone, and if you are willing to go within. Some of you will surely find this unbearable. Maybe the inner world is empty, starving, painful. Face that, observe your own hunger and your own pain. Sit with it. This could take days, months, years. The more you can get comfortable with it, the less of a grip it has over your life. Eventually it will disappear because you now are not destroyed by it.

When your own shadow and darkness no longer have a grip on you, nobody else in your external world will have any power over you whatsoever. I now laugh at how desperately people try to influence, control, seduce or coerce me. My ability to remain unaffected pisses off a lot of egos. No one can touch me. More importantly, I understand that in my composure and absolute stillness, I can allow their attacks to pass by me like Neo bent down to allow bullets to pass and fall to the ground. Other people have no power over you, and they actually can’t do anything to you. You can only perceive their dramas from a place of fear and give them power if you choose.

Your life is entirely your story. Living externally allows others to control your perception of yourself, place limitations on how far you can go, and to distract you from your true purpose. It allows people to feed on your energy in which case you will never truly be free. Imagine if you are utterly unaffected by other people’s dramas, attacks, underhandedness, betrayals, gossip, evil eye, and whatever they try to fling at you and their words have absolutely no effect on you. They fall down to the ground like the bullets aimed at Neo. As you stare back at their flailing attempts and witness their stupidity, imagine how the trolls feel as they expose themselves to others while they are trying to hurt you. Anyone would feel utterly powerless.

My superpower is that I never have to lift a finger to retaliate, or do anything to others. I don’t believe in revenge, I don’t believe in fighting low consciousness by stooping to its level, and I don’t believe in messing with anyone’s free will. In fact I allow their attacks, knowing well that whatever is aimed at me will not reach me. I do believe that in life you get what you are, and those negative words, fear, and manipulation people aim at others, always come back to them. They are the originators of those energies, therefore the universal magnet will always bring them face to face with whatever they tried to inflict onto someone else. You be still.

Whether you want to succeed at work or in your personal life, it all depends on understanding the true source of your power and being in charge of your own outcomes. Invest more in your inner world, and worry less on what is happening on the outside. The outer dramas are just a reflection of whatever war you were fighting within yourself previously.

The world is changing, and I believe that in this new world an entirely new set of skills will be needed. Empathy, some people have it while others fake it. It will become obvious who the fakers are. Self-mastery, composure, inner balance, true wisdom, resonance will allow us all to operate at a higher level of consciousness. There will be a separation, an evolution of those who will carry humanity forward. Allow what is not for you to fall behind.

Go within and develop a strong relationship with yourself. Trust me, you will become totally unfuckwithable.

S

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The Spiritual Purpose of Aging and Gaining Weight

Posted on July 12, 2024 by Travel Clubs International

What is the spiritual purpose of aging? Most of us are worried when we see our skin start to droop, our hairline recede, our face start to collapse, and we panic. I need to do something right now! I need a better skincare routine, omg cosmetics don’t work! I need to lose 10 lbs, and I need a skin tightening treatment. Maybe I need botox, but I’m scared of botox, should look into fillers? My greys are growing out faster than ever. I spend $100 a month on hair color, $100 on spa treatments, and I am aging nevertheless!

How do you feel as you experience this? I was in a state of panic, disappointment in myself, ready to throw in the towel, this is hopeless! When you are seeing yourself as you are aging, are you in a place of self-mastery? No, I’m in a state of helplessness. When I see my neck, I want to cry. Why? Does my neck make me worthless? If I asked any of my friends to be honest and tell me if I am worth less to them due to my neck, what would they say?? Nobody in my world sees me as worthless, except for me. And to be clear, I am not worthless, I know that, instead I am currently experiencing the feeling of worthlessness.

For all my talk about being love, staying in a state of pure unconditional love at all times, here I am losing ground and I am not liking this one bit. But what is really happening here?

Aging is natural. Nobody can prevent that. We all get soft around the middle, become more doughy, and our arms will jiggle eventually. It happens to everyone, so why are we so nervous about it? It is our perception. We have heard that women lose value as we age. I never believed that because I have proof that all my friends are far more valuable to everyone they know the more they grow. But I can’t help being disappointed in my looks. I should have tried harder.

What is really happening here is a loss of my emotional balance, a reaction to something external, and while I am focused on my looks, no, I am not in a state of unconditional love for myself. You I can love, but right now, it’s not me. Aging is a spiritual test. Can you stay in that state of unconditional love for the self no matter what you look like, no matter what your age, no matter what your womanly body is doing right now. Yes aging is a spiritual exercise to see if you truly are all that.

But, we don’t lose our alignment because we are aging, In fact, we are aging because we are losing our unconditional self love. First comes the feeling, then comes the evidence. One thing I learned about my body while I have been meditating, is that the body responds to how we feel. First comes the mindset, or awareness, and the body adjusts to that. This is how I reversed my experience of asthma. I learned how to unfeel that tightness in my chest, I learned how to feel clear breath even as my lungs were struggling. I had to be able to feel clear, despite what my lungs were telling me. You have to be able to feel young, vital and beautiful despite how you look right now.

How? It is wrong to say I have to push myself to go to the gym, really give it my all, sweat and burn until my body screams, and then I will feel better. This attitude is brutal. Instead, love and adore your body unconditionally as it is now. No matter what. I know you have a pooch, a muffin top, and your jeans won’t zip. I just realized that I haven’t worn my jeans in 18 months because I despise that feeling of trying to squeeze into them, so I just avoid them. But that awful feeling is sending your body a signal. I don’t like this body, it feels awful, I hate this feeling, so your body does what the brain is telling it to do, make more weight.

The same goes for your aging process. We first start to worry about our aging as well as our value as women. Our brain is merely sending a signal to the body to adjust itself to how you feel. When I learned how to clear my asthma mentally, I understood that my body does how I feel. Not how I think, but how I feel.

When I felt that clear, deep breath as my lungs were sending me the opposite evidence, it took only a few seconds for my lungs to relax. One of the first things I learned to do while meditating 22 years ago, was how to make six pack abs mentally. I had it within a few days. But why can’t I do it now? Because I have 7 years of experience criticizing my body and not liking where it is going. And that critique is like an emotional and an energetic debt. I have compiled so much negative energy on this subject, it’s no wonder my body reacted. How to undo this now?

The key is to accept all your flaws exactly as they are now. The second step is to fall in love with each and every one of your cellulite jiggles, sagginess, each and every wrinkle. You can’t clear your energy unless you feel good about yourself first. Remember, the good feeling about your body and your face have to happen first, despite the evidence to the contrary. That is a true power! A sign of a true energy master is the ability to create the opposite of what the evidence shows.

This is a worthwhile exercise. Stand in front of the mirror and admire yourself. No you will not tug at your jawline or lift anything up. Instead you will look at that crepey neck and absolutely adore it! You will look at your droopy eyelids and find the beauty in them. I know this is very uncomfortable. Just staring in the mirror truly noticing myself is uncomfortable. But I did it before so I know it works. Watch what you say to yourself. Instead of thinking if only I could have a lift, say something like there is so much more wisdom in my eyes now. That beautiful droop has accentuated the the sparkle in my eyes. Those brown spots are like the freckles cute girls had when I was growing up. I even have a black, thick hair that is now growing on my upper lip and I think it is absolutely funny. I did not pluck it, it’s just standing there greeting me every morning when I brush my teeth. How awesome is that, that I say hello to that one thick hair on my upper lip? Tomorrow I will wear it with pride when I go out with my friends! You see how your energy has shifted when you added a bit of humor to your beauty? I did this once for a whole month and my face looked better than ever!

But the purpose of aging is to shore up your mental and emotional strength. You think you have mastered yourself, but then aging kicks in and your body no longer acts as sexy as you used to be. If you start reacting to it emotionally, down the hill you go!

Yes, it was easier to mentally create a six-pack on my abs decades ago, because my body was already a size 0. It’s not so easy to love it unconditionally in its current situation. But your body only reacts to how you feel. My sacral chakra and my solar plexus have been blocked for a long time, and guess where my body is adding weight? Yes, right there where I feel bad. And any time I feel sick or unwell, guess what part of the body acts like it doesn’t like me?

But if I can clear up asthma forever with no steroids, I can do this. In the past I have been able to lose 5-6 lbs just by feeling better about my waistline. Not feeling skinny, but feeling love for that part of my body. If you try to feel skinny while you dislike your body, you have contradicting energies, your body won’t be able to respond, and you will get sick. Done that a few times. No, you truly have to fall in love unconditionally and purely with your waistline, your jawline, your neck and then it will show you how much you love yourself.

I know that many of you don’t meditate and that is ok. You can do this without going into a trance. Instead, find a part of your body that you have not felt good about. 1) spend 15 minutes morning and night accepting it as it is, and being okay with that. Pay attention to how your emotions feel as you are looking at your belly. That feeling shows how you feel about it. That’s not love. That’s hopelessness, disgust, gross- this is how you are actually talking to your body every day. Your body adjusts to how you feel. If you can accept that giant muffin top, your feelings will become neutral. I no longer care, I no longer feel bad, it’s my belly and I’m fine with my size. When you no longer feel bad, you have found acceptance. It’s just a neutral feeling of I don’t care! It is what it is. 2) Your next step is to fall in love. You must admire your belly, find it adorable, its kinda cute, and you will spend 15 minutes morning and night emotionally loving every inch of your belly. Notice how the feelings of love, or even the feeling of cuteness or amusement shifts the energy of your entire being? Let your feelings be your compass, and make sure you love that belly of yours more than you love your favorite person! 3) Keep practicing this self-adoration, admiration and unconditional love, without any motive and without needing results. This is important because if you are motivated by needing results, spiritually, you are being greedy. Its the wrong energy to be in. Just keep loving that belly no matter what happens. 4) Finally, as you are in that state of love, FEEL how a skinny belly would feel. Remember when your pants were loose, feel the looseness. Remember when your abs were tighter, feel the tightness without feeling reality. When you can combine the last two steps at the same time, unconditional love and slimness without attachment to it (no motive), your body will slowly begin to adjust.

What I mean by “without attachment to the outcome” or without a motive, is that I was not breathing clearly in order to cure asthma, or to be healthy, or to feel powerful. I was simply enjoying the clear breath without any expectation of it. And them my lungs complied. Motives, attachments, greed will kill your progress.

That said, aging is part of our spiritual path. It is the one thing that happens to everybody on this planet. Trying to combat it, is fighting against it. It increases your resistance. Anything you resist persists. You must accept it, love it, enjoy it, embrace it and your body will adjust to exactly how you feel. You can’t stop aging, but you can fall in love with the process and all the wisdom and freedom that comes with it. You will love how your body reacts to your new attitude.

S

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